The Answer to Arguments

From the book Let the Journey Begin by Max Lucado.

Sometime ago my wife bought a monkey. I didn't want a monkey in our house, so i objected.

"Where is he going to eat?" I asked.
"At our table."
"Where is he going to sleep?" I inquired.
"In our bed."
"What about the odor?" I demanded.
"I got used to you; I guess the monkey can too."

Unity doesn't begin in examining others but in examining self. Unity begins not in demanding that others change, but in admitting that we aren't so perfect ourselves...

The answer to arguments? Acceptance. The first step to unity? Acceptance. Not agreement, acceptance. Not unanimity, acceptance. Not negotiation, arbitration, or elaboration. Those might come later but only after the first step, acceptance.

Do You Have a Hole in Your Heart?

Continuing with the book, Let the Journey Begin by Max Lucado, I enjoyed this entry:

Perhaps the wound is old. A parent abused you. A teacher slighted you.

And you are angry.

Or perhaps the wound is fresh. the friend who owes you money just drove by in a new car. The boss who hired you with promises of promotions has forgotten how to pronounce your name. your circle of friends escaped on a weekend get-away, and you weren't invited...

And you are hurt.

Part of you is broken, and the other part is bitter. Part of you wants to cry, and part of you wants to fight. The tears you cry are hot because they come from your heart, where there is a fire burning. It's the fire of anger. It's blazing. It's consuming. Its flames leap up under a streaming pot of revenge.

And you are left with a decision. "Do I put the fire out or heat it up? Do I get over it or get even? Do I release it or resent it? Do I let my hurts heal, or do I let hurt turn into hate?"... Resentment is the deliberate decision to nurse the offense until it becomes a black, furry, growling grudge...

Unfaithfulness is wrong. Revenge is bad. But the worst part of all is that, without forgiveness, bitterness is all that is left.