Push, Pull, or Run Like the Wind

I try to run about 4-5 mornings a week. I don't know if it is because I like to check it off my list, I'm trying to avoid the guilt that comes from not running, or I like to think I'm contributing to my health and longevity. Maybe I just like the feel of the cool, crisp morning and the wind against my face. It wakes me up and gives me energy for the day, and usually into the evening.

The last two weeks, I haven't run that much. I almost always take Sascha, my 12 year old German shepherd. As soon as we hit the sidewalk, she takes off. I think she feels more like a pup when she's running. At this point, she's pulling me. We have a pretty big block, with 3 courts on the other side, and she runs me all the way around. By then, I like to stop and walk a little. She'll start to jog a little but much slower. It's at this point I start to pull her. She seems to need the encouragement at this point.

This morning as I got out of bed, Greg said, "Run like the wind, baby." I thought about this as I was running. It encouraged me to keep running and I ran twice as far as usual.

Sometimes our relationship with God is similar. Sometimes he pushes us a little, giving us a heart passion in an area he's designed us for. The passion serves as a motivation to head in a certain direction with our lives, which includes our time, talent, and treasure. Sometimes he pulls us, or gives us someone in our life to pull us into a place of growth where we might not venture ourselves. Sometimes, God doesn't seem to have a preference regarding an area, not giving us a specific answer to prayer on which way to go, giving us the freedom to run like the wind.

In what areas is God pushing you? What are you passionate about? What do you keep thinking about? What are you imagining you can do to make a difference in someones life?

In what areas is he pulling you? Are you dragging your feet or surrendering? A word of advice, it's always better to surrender. It gets so much easier after that point.

Where are you running like the wind? I don't mean running from something, I mean running to or with something. Think about these things today.

Praise and Glory be to God!

Yahooooo!!!!!! Thank you to my prayer partners who have prayed about my shoulder. The Dr. emailed me tonight and told me he received my MRI results, which showed no rotator cuff tear, and a normal shoulder except for impingement (tendonitis). I'm still seeing him Friday to discuss our options for treatment, but I'm pretty sure it means I don't need surgery. Yeahh!!!!

What a relief. As I walked our mile around our neighborhood with Greg tonight, fighting back the over expression of sheer joy of having only tendonitis, I considered the situation. As I wrote in my previous post, any experience is worth it as long as you learn from it. I told Greg, "You know, it's just like God in how he deals with me. He knows I have a fear or problem in a certain area. He allows that kind of situation in my life. I stress, I fear, I dread. Then I realize I really have no option as a child of God, but to trust in my heavenly Father who loves me, and surrender to whatever he wants for me. Once I do that, the situation dissipates, never as bad as I had imagined it would be."

He wants our surrender and our trust. I've learned this lesson several times before, and I think I'm getting quicker to realize I need to surrender, at least I hope I am. God is continually helping us weed out the weaknesses in our life by allowing us to face those situations. It might be a health crisis, a confrontation issue, or something else. I just pray I'll be better at evaluating myself and fixing my fears and attitudes before he brings something my way to deal with.

I feel like the object of his mercy and grace. The recipient of his generosity. Cradled in his arms and gently rocked. There is no more comforting place to be. However, being in my husband's arms is a very close second.

Summer Reading Part III

I've been spending my spare reading time in Just As I Am by Billy Graham. I'm about 50 pages into this 760 page book. My general impression so far is this is a very humble, transparent man. He has exposed mistakes he's made, such as a meeting with Harry Truman. A White House staff memorandum in late 1951 stated "At Key West the President said very decisively that he did not wish to endorse Billy Graham's Washington revival meeting and particularly he said he did not want to receive him at the White House. You remember what a show of himself Billy Graham made the last time he was here. The President does not want it repeated." Yikes! That could nose dive anyone's career, but God knew his heart and his potential and yet blessed him. He certainly learned from his mistake and didn't repeat it when presented with a similar circumstance. One of my mottos is 'Every experience is worth it as long as you learn from it.'

After this story in the introduction, the book begins with his humble beginnings as a farm boy outside Charlotte, N.C. It talks about how his father came to Christ, and how Billy went from a boy living his parent's faith, to making the decision for himself. These two stories have been my favorites. To me, it is such an amazing glimpse of God working, when I hear someone's testimony. It's exciting and faith stirring.

I had the honor of being a follow-up worker at last year's Harvest Crusade. I met with a group of 5 women, 4 of which were rededications. Just being down front in that crowd of people weeping from experiencing the Holy Spirit moved me to tears. It was an experience I'll never forget. I wish that everyone would be willing to serve in that capacity. The blessing that comes from being there is overwhelming.

If you're not already signed up to be a follow-up worker or usher or volunteer in some capacity, please plan to attend and bring your unsaved friends and relatives. You can't miss this. This event will be a milestone in your spiritual walk.

Summer Reading Part II

Here's what struck me in the Spiritual Leadership book, continued from yesterday:

Domestic: A well-ordered home where mutual respect and supportive harmony are the keynotes. To reach this goal, a spouse must fully share the leader's spiritual aspirations and be willing to join in the necessary sacrifices. Many a gifted leader has been lost to high office and spiritual effectiveness because of an uncooperative spouse. Paul implies that a person's ability to lead at home is a strong indicator of his readiness to lead in ministry.

Maturity: Spiritual maturity is indispensable to good leadership. A novice or new convert should not be pushed into leadership. A plant needs time to take root and come to maturity, and the process cannot be hurried. They must first be tested. A promising convert should be given a widening opportunity to serve at humbler and less prominent tasks that will develop both natural and spiritual gifts. He should not be advanced too fast, lest he become puffed up. Neither should he be repressed, lest he become discouraged. Maturity is shown in a magnanimous spirit and broad vision. He must be prudently self-controlled, sober, frugal, enduring in toil, intelligent, without love of money, neither you nor old, if possible the father of a family, able to speak competently, and of good reputation.

I agree with these definitions. Above, it warns us not to advance someone too quickly or they can become puffed up, or too slowly or he will become discouraged. I've seen the opposite of both of those happen as well. I have advanced a leader too quickly and they became discouraged because they were overwhelmed. I've seen someone promoted prematurely and they became puffed up. If you're a leader, you undoubtedly should be thinking of how you can replace yourself. It's important to raise up leaders beneath you who can carry on the ministry should God call you elsewhere. In the corporate world, we called this Succession Planning. But there is also a very fine line in discerning who is ready for leadership and/or advancement. As a wise man seeks the council of others, a leader should be communicating with the leadership above them to check their plans for giving people additional ministry responsibility. Almost everyone is should be willing to take some step in ministry. As a leader, it's important to keep in mind that we don't use people to get ministry done, but we use ministry to get people done.

Summer Reading Part I

I've just bought a book that will kind of take my mind on a rabbit trail. It's Billy Graham's bibliography, Just As I Am. It's the 10th anniversary edition, which is his original book on his life plus the last 10 years, including his sermon given on 9/14/01 on the National Day of Prayer and Remembrance. I can't wait to hear the story of this incredible evangelist. There are many pictures including one from a crusade in 1962 at Soldier Field in Chicago. There were 116,000 people there in 100-degree heat. Incredible!!

I've picked up my Spiritual Leadership book again and am highlighting several things. The most recent chapter was on insights on leadership from Paul. Paul is probably my favorite person in the Bible because of what he went through and his attitude and perseverance through it all.

This chapter talks about the social, moral, mental, personality, domestic and maturity qualifications for a spiritual leader. Here's what 'struck' me in the first few sections:

Social: The leader is to be above reproach, enjoy a good reputation and live a holy and joyful life.

Moral: The spiritual leader must exercise sexual faithfulness, be temperate, not addicted to alcohol.

Mental: A leader must be prudent, a person with sound judgment. The well-balanced state of mind resulting from habitual self-restraint. They must be respectable and have a well-ordered life. They must be ready and able to teach. They must know how to read hearts and apply truth to the needs of the people.

Personality: Must be genial and gentle, not a lover of controversy. R.C. Trench writes that the leader should be one who corrects and "redresses the injustices of justice." The leader must be actively considerate, not merely passive and certainly not withdrawn but irenic in disposition, always seeking a peaceful solution, and able to diffuse an explosive situation. Covetousness and its twin, the love of money, disqualify a person for leadership. Financial reward cannot enter a leader's mind in the exercise of ministry. The leader must be as willing to accept an appointment with a lower remuneration as one with a higher.

Done!

They eye appointment went well. I got new contacts to try for a week. The jury is still out whether I like them or not. The optometrist thought I did switch the lenses so today I'll see if my desk is flat.

I survived the MRI. It was so much better than the one I had five years ago. It was an open MRI and they gave me headphones with music. It was 30 minutes along and I was glad I made it all the way through. I'll let you know what the Doctor says when he sees them. I can't make heads or tails of the films.

I'm looking forward to today. I've re-done my office and bought a few plants and pots last night to help soften the hard edges in the room. I should be able to finish the last of the filing today. I'm so excited! I love being organized.

Time to spend time with my King before finishing getting ready for work.

Blessings!

Skewed Lenses

I had the strangest day yesterday. I had switched desks at work and as I sat there trying to work, it literally felt as if they desk was leaning towards me. I had three people sit in my desk to verify I wasn't losing my mind. They came up with different reasons. "The edge of your desk is now rounded, giving you an optical illusion." "Your chair is leaning." "There's more space between your desk and the wall now." I even had the custodian bring in a level, but the desk appeared to be level. I looked at my monitor. It was slanting to the left. I went in the foyer and it and a door was slanting to the left. I walked down the hallway and the edge of the tile was slanting to the left. It's enough to drive you batty!

I came to the conclusion that I must have switched my contacts inadvertently, hopefully, I'll know later today when I switch them back. I go to the optometrist this morning to have my prescription and astigmatism checked. As I thought about this, it reminded me of a book I read and took our small group through last year. It's called Love & Respect.

One of the things Dr. Emerson Eggerichs talks about in his book is pink and blue lenses. Women look through pink lenses and men through blue lenses. These act as filters for how we receive what is communicated to us. For example, I tell my son that the garbage is full. I think I'm asking him to take it out, but he receives it as a comment on the state of the garbage can, not as a request. We're subtle in our communication, men are more obvious in what they need to hear.

The book also talks about the Crazy Cycle. Women need to feel loved. Men need to feel they are respected. When a woman doesn't receive love, she reacts without respect for her husband, and if he doesn't receive respect, he reacts without love for her. It's a vicious cycle. A strong marriage is one where both give what the other needs, whether they feel like it or not. Examples of making a woman feel loved are what she responds to based on her love language. It might be kisses and touch, receiving gifts, spending time together, verbal encouragement, or doing nice things for her. The book uses the acronym COUPLE (Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty and Esteem). Men feel respected when they are told how much they are appreciated and respected, when we submit to their authority without arguing about it, and helping our kids do the same. The book uses the acronym CHAIRS (Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality).

It's a good book for anyone who feels like their marriage could use a tune-up. It provides insight into how men and women relate to each other.

A Kiss From God

My daughter had a special moment at SWC. I called it a kiss from God. It was one of those things that were so special to her heart, that only God could have arranged it. She's a huge BarlowGirl fan. BarlowGirl is a Christian rock band of 3 sisters, all in their 20's. Lauren plays drums, Rebecca plays electric guitar, and Alyssa plays keyboard and bass. They promote purity, having never had a boyfriend, and choosing not to date, but to wait. They're beautiful girls. Their parents have done a fabulous job raising them and providing them with opportunities to live out the call God has on their lives. This is a great band for daughters to look up to as role models.

Anyway, the kiss. We had gotten off the bus and arrived at the venue. We were walking quickly across the dirt to get to the BarlowGirl Q&A session. There are always golf carts transporting those with physical limitations around the area, so we didn't really pay much attention when another whizzed by us. Kristen looked up first and it was the 3 Barlow girls being driven to the Q&A session! Right by us! Kristen said, "That's them!!!!" I looked up and waved at them and Alyssa waved back. They crossed our path for a moment and it totally made my daughter's trip.

I've included some pictures of them singing. We were in the area in front of the stage but weren't really close enough to get good shots of them, except for on the jumbotrons.

Enjoy!

A God Moment at SWC

Thursday night the crowed was in full force anticipating the Newsboys' performance. It was dark and cool with a slight breeze as the three jumbotrons lit up the audience. The first two songs were lively and well known. The audience continued to stand as they sang Blessed Be Your Name (one of my favorites). During that song I felt the need to completely surrender my shoulder situation to God. The tears began to flow as I told God that I would walk down any road he wanted me to, even if it was surgery, and do it with courage because I trust him. I asked him to take my fear and then I let go. The thought of death during surgery ran across my mind and I surrendered to that as well, if that was what God wanted. His peace covered me.

As the song faded, the lead singer began to speak with authority. He recited two passages from Isaiah.

40:28-31
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

41:10-13
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

All who rage against you
will surely be ashamed and disgraced;
those who oppose you
will be as nothing and perish.
Though you search for your enemies,
you will not find them.
Those who wage war against you
will be as nothing at all.
For I am the Lord, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.

I felt as if God was speaking those very words to me, cutting to me heart with his sword, and I drank in every word. It was powerful. My whole family felt his presence during that time. God had a message for us last night and we all shed tears as we experienced our Lord's encouragement pertaining to our own situations.

Fill your self with God's Holy word and expose yourself to as many opportunities to experience him as possible. This means going to church and attending classes like Harvest Crusade Impact and Bible studies. It means meeting with a disciple maker or being one. It means going to the Harvest Crusade, volunteering at church, the Harvest Crusade, or in your community. It means talking to your friends and family about spiritual things. It means going to Spirit West Coast or the Modesto Nuts Faith Night August 28th. It means reading blogs and listening to podcasts and Christian radio. I'm not saying you have to do ALL these things, but it is important to be more than a Sunday morning Christian. The more you fill your heart with God, the less room there will be for the enemy's seeds and worldly desires.

Vacation

We'll be on the road in about 8 hours. We'll be trekking to Laguna Seca in Monterey for Spirit West Coast again this year. We can't wait. We had such a great time last year. Tent camping, concerts, shopping, relaxing, meeting new people, watching people, it's wonderful.

This year we get to see almost all our favorite artists. Tomorrow we get to see David Crowder Band, Hawk Nelson, Newsboys and Miles McPherson. Friday, it's Josh McDowell, Third Day, and BarlowGirl. Saturday, Glen Berteau from Calvary Temple in Modesto will be speaking, and Todd Agnew. There are many, many other bands, comedians, and speakers, too many to list. You can go to the Spirit West Coast website and see photos from last year.

If you've never been, it's a great place to take the family. They have VeggieLand, skateboard ramps, basketball, youth leader seminars, worship leader seminars, food, and more. There are baptisms and opportunities to accept Christ. It's so cool. Another added benefit, there's practically no cigarette smoke! No one is intoxicated. It's totally family friendly. You can go for a day or more. It's over Sunday morning after service. It's a blast. Hope to see you there!

A Leader's Choice

Yesterday our Pastoral staff got together as we do each week and watched the next video on Developing the Leader Within You by John Maxwell. John shared his reflections on leadership, the things he's learned over the years. The thing that 'struck' me was when he said to ask ourselves "Do I want to help people or make them happy?" Obviously these are sometimes mutually exclusive. As a leader we're called to have the backbone to make the tough choices. Sometimes it means having a difficult conversation with someone about their attitude or behavior or decisions. Sometimes it means asking someone to step down from a leadership position or out of ministry for a season.

Of course it must be said that our first response to anyone in a position to receive rebuke is to gently restore them. That should always be first and foremost in our mind and we should make every attempt to do so. Sometimes just having a conversation with someone and bringing up a situation can resolve the issue if their heart is open. They realize the problem, have been fretting about it, and the fact that you brought it out in the open is a genuine relief to them. It means that you're on their side, standing beside them and wanting to help them resolve the issue. They are willing to do whatever you ask because you've built a trust with them and they want to be on good terms with you.

Another kind of person you might encounter is one who appears to be agreeing with you and submitting to your leadership, but then they turn around when you're not looking and do the same thing again. After a second conversation and seeing a pattern of rebellious behavior, a line should be drawn. Here are the rules. Here are your choices. Can you follow these rules? Then the decision is theirs.

Then you have people with a more closed heart. They might refute the evidence against them and get very defensive. They might get offended at the offer to help them. This is the most dangerous person to have in a leadership position. They shouldn't have been asked into leadership in the first place but now that they're there, you'll probably have to h ave the most uncomfortable conversation you've every had with anyone. Again, you want to restore them. That might mean they go to counseling, it might mean you or someone else walking beside them on a weekly basis helping them chip away at their pride and replace it with more God. They might yell at you and tell you they don't ever want to see you again. Keep loving them as much as possible. If they see you being consistent and loving them no matter what, they will learn to trust you and then you can really start pouring yourself into them.

I've had the opportunity to have all three of these conversations with people. I've dreaded having them all but lived to tell about them. It actually gets easier. Being non-confrontational, God has helped to grow me in this area by putting these people and their situations in my path. It's given me more confidence when faced with these situations again. I know he's growing me as a leader in this area and it is actually fun being able to pour into people even when you have to face the tough times with them. It's so worth it.

Gawking

I've wrestled whether to write this blog or not all day. It seems it wants to be written, so here goes.

For the past few days since our neighbor's house burned, I have seen many cars drive down our street, slow down as they searched for the house, then hit the brakes when they found it. They sit there for a good minute or so taking in the entirety of the damage. I've even seen some near accidents as a result of this rubber necking.

So my thought is this. Why don't people have more going on in their life than to search out and stare at the tragedy of a family that they don't even know? Where is the compassion, the respect for privacy, and the honor for a family of disaster? Thankfully the family has moved out temporarily until their house is restored so they don't have to witness these gawkers. Do they chase ambulances too? If this had happened to me, it would just add insult to injury. I've even entertained the thought of putting a sign up that read, "If you don't live on this street, take your shallow concern and leave." Or something to that effect. I'm not confrontational, but this bugs me.

That's my pet peeve for the day.

Mysteries of Life

Yesterday our family attended the service of a classmate of Mark's killed in a car accident. The service was beautiful and moving. I left feeling like I knew who this boy was, though I had never spoken to him. I learned that he had rededicated his life to Christ just two weeks before the accident. He spent his time writing poetry about God, sharing his faith with others, and doing some crazy stunts. He rode a quad and a moped. He had a girlfriend. He loved his youth pastor, and showed his love in tangible ways. When his youth pastor had torn ligaments in his elbow, he went to his house and built a roof for his pigeon coup, as thieves had stolen over 200 birds. He was upset that 'bad guys' had stolen from his youth pastor. He wanted to be a chef. He wanted to be a prayer counselor at the upcoming Harvest Crusade. He had his whole life ahead of him and it was just taking off. His family made sure there was a gospel presentation and an opportunity to accept Christ in the service. At least 5 people gave their lives to the Lord as a result. So, the question is, why did God take him so soon? I have no idea. Here's a poem he wrote:

He died for us all.
In the end it's your call.
Where your soul will go.
You will reap what you sow.

He loves us all the same.
Life is more than just a game.
He cares about you and I.
So there is no reason to cry.

He will always be there.
And he will always care.
He hears you when you call.
And He will always break your fall.

My God is so good to me.
He can make the blind to see.
If you put your life in His hands,
You blessings will be like the stars and the sands.

Travis Wade Ingram
June 4, 1989 - July 20, 2007

Aftermath

As I went for my run this morning with my trusy companion Sascha (our 12 year-old German shepherd) I experienced the aftermath of last night's fire. The smell of smoke is still in the air, the gutters are lined with black ash and water, and our neighbor's driveway piled with fluffy white foam. He was loading a few file cabinets in the back of his truck while all the time on his cell phone. By 7:30 Farmer's Insurance had come to survey the damage. Now contractors are showing up to see what it will take to restore their home.

It reminds me of the verse Weeping may last through the night,but joy comes with the morning. Ps. 30:5 And the morning always comes. No matter what we go through, it always gets better. Tunnels always end and valleys are finite. Thank you Lord for the hope we have in you!

Fire

Thank you Lord for protecting our daughter, our home, and our animals.

We had quite an evening. While Greg, our son Mark, and I were at church at the 3rd Impact training, our daughter Kristen called. She said a house was on fire two doors down from us. There were fire trucks and gobs of people. I told her to go outside and keep away from the fire. I told Greg and he left immediately. As he came down Tegner, he saw the light and huge cloud of smoke from the fire. As he got closer to our street, he noticed many more people than usually turning down the road that leads to our house. This made it difficult for him to get home. When he got here, someone else was parked in our driveway, so he parked in the middle of the street. His first concern was Kristen, his second, our home.

They did the usual smart things, like put the dogs in the garage to protect them from the smoke. There were 5 fire trucks lined up in front of the house. When I came home an hour later, all roads leading to our house were blocked off. The fire trucks were still there and the firefighters were still pulling items out of the house. Greg was able to put the dogs in the backyard and park in the garage. There is still a PG&E truck blocking our driveway.

Here's the cool part. No one was injured and they just lost part of the roof. Apparently a lady in the house had accidentally started a kitchen fire earlier in the day and the fire dept came out. Then another started tonight. She had had a stroke some time before. I don't know if this played into it or not. She didn't speak English but had told our next door neighbor she didn't know where her kids were. Our neighbor went to Greg and Greg told the firefighters. As they were about to rush into the house, other firefighters came but found out and said no one was inside. Thankfully it didn't spread to any other houses.

I've got to say I was very proud of Kristen. She handled being home alone with all this commotion very well. She wasn't stressed at all. Well, enough excitement for one night. God is so good.

Remember The Waltons?

We just got our DVD in the mail from Netflix. It's the 4th season of The Waltons. This episode was called The Sermon. The town teacher and the town preacher decided to get married. The teacher asked Olivia (the mom) to take over her one room schoolhouse for the week they were on their honeymoon. The preacher asked John Boy to give the sermon. John Boy stressed all week about what to preach about. He checked out huge books from the library, got unsolicited advice from his grandmother, and overheard discouraging comments from the town gossips. He was confused and didn't think he had anything to give. He was looking for the answers in all the wrong places.

Then one night while he was pouring over books, his dad came in and told him he should put all the books away and spend some quiet time with God and he would know what to preach on. He spoke that Sunday about how everyone approached God in their own way. They spent time with Him and worshipped him in their own unique way, just as God had made them all uniquely. His grandfather sang hymns on Walton's mountain, his grandmother read the Bible and knew the shalts and shalt nots like the back of her hand, and his dad, though he rarely graced the steps of a church, spent time with God and had answers for anyone who asked him.

This reminded me of the Spiritual Pathways to God. Author Gary Thomas came up with 9 or so ways people connect with God. How do you connect best? By being in nature? By being alone? By fighting for a cause? By serving others? There are many ways. You can find your way by going to our website.

It doesn't matter how you connect, it just matters that you do.

Hope for Healing

As I prayed about what to write today, I kept being reminded of times when God has answered my prayers for healing. I don't claim to have the gift of healing, but there have been instances when He has healed me or answered my prayers for someone else. My prayer is that someone reading this will be encouraged by my experiences.

The first two came when my kids were small. Kids under 5 seem to throw up a lot when they're sick. I remember praying that my son wouldn't throw up any more during the night, and he didn't. Another time he asked me to pray that he wouldn't throw up anymore that night, and he didn't.

The next time came when one of the moms in my single moms ministry had to go in for a needle biopsy, as they found a few lumps in her breast. She asked for prayer for strength and courage and that it wouldn't hurt. I felt God wanted me to 'dial it up a notch' so I prayed that when the radiologist went in to find them, that he wouldn't be able to, because they were gone. She called me that afternoon, just as I was about to call her, and that's exactly what she said. He couldn't find them because they were gone.

The next time I experienced God's healing, was about 4 years ago. I had been doing sit ups on the floor and heard this pop sound in the back of my neck. I stopped mid-sit up. I wiggled my fingers and toes and everything worked, but for the next year and a half, I had constant, horrible neck and shoulder pain. I went to the doctor repeatedly and asked for an x-ray to see what the problem was. He wouldn't let me. Being the resourceful woman I am, I made an appointment with another doctor in the office when my doctor was out and he offered me an x-ray. It showed I had degenerative disk disease and he sent me for an MRI. It showed I had a vertebrae out of place. I was told not to lift anything over 50 lbs., because I might herniate it. That was hard because as a single mom, homeowner, I did a lot of heavy lifting around the house. One night as I was having my quiet time, I had told God that I wanted to serve Him my whole life, but didn't know how effective I would be with this huge pain in my neck. He asked me if I had ever asked him to heal it. It occurred to me I hadn't, so that night I prayed for healing. During the night I had a dream. I was in an operating room, on my stomach, with my hair pulled up off my neck. The room was slightly lit, doctors and nurses were conversing a short distance from me. I remember thinking in my dream, "I can't believe I had the nerve to go through with this." The though of surgery on my neck made me fearful of a bad move from a doctor leaving me a quadriplegic. As I layed there, I saw a white pearl handled knife float through the air towards me. It caught the light and glistened. As if I was looking down on myself, I saw the knife cut a one inch incision in the place where the pain was. I saw my skin split open. That was all I remembered. The next morning I woke up and headed for the bathroom. Usually in 3 steps I felt the pain in my neck. I started getting ready for work and realized, "Hey, where's that pain in my neck?" I decided to wait 3 days to see if they pain returned before telling anyone. It's never returned.

The last time happened about 2 years ago. I saw what looked like a mole appear on my arm and over the next two or three weeks, it grew in diameter and height. It turned dark and bubbly looking. A coworker told me I should have it looked at. I made an appointment. The next day in the shower I prayed that God would shrink it in size, lighten it, and just dry it up so that it would appear as it had before. I believed that he had healed it and thanked him for it. Within 24 hours it started shrinking in diameter and lightening. It continued to do this each day. When I went for my appointment I told the doctor God was healing it. It completely went away and has not returned.

God is SO good and prayer does work.

Discovering the Will of God

Today I spent some time reviewing a DVD and study guide by Andy Stanley called Discovering the Will of God. I just love the way Andy Stanley writes and teaches. He's so down to earth, wise, and funny. There are 8 sessions of 20-30 minutes each and group discussion questions afterwards.

The first session was on decisions. How do we know what God's will is when we have a decision to make? The more familiar we become with the providential will of God (the way God works, the things he's going to do anyway, the way he's already working in the world), and the more surrendered we become to the moral will of God (the thou shalts and thou shalt nots), the easier it will be to determine the personal will of God for your life.

The second session was on one of the ways God speaks to us . . . through the wise counsel of others. Andy talked of the importance of carefully choosing who you ask for advice. Choose older, wise people who are already where you want to be. He gave the example of Rehoboam who was about to be king (1 Kings chapter 12). The people who were about to make him king asked if he would go a little easier on them than his father, the previous king. He sought the wise counsel of the elders who had advised his father. They told him yes, give them a break. Then he sought the counsel of his friends who said, no, be harder on the subjects. He sided with his friends over the elders. As a result, Israel rebelled against him.

Another part of this session was that God does not give us information for consideration, but for participation. God's will is not given to us to keep in our bag of options until we decide which option sounds best to us. His will is ALWAYS best for us because he loves us that much. We also find that in the process of discovering God's will, we discover God.

I think of the times I've sought God's will over mine and the outcome was always better than anything I could have orchestrated. We should all strive to get our hearts to the place where we move over and let God do what He wants.

Stick this on your mirror or dashboard: Can you trust God with the consequences of your obedience?

Out With the Old . . .

We just finished having our nearly annual yard sale. We had been storing this stuff for a year or more and it was so good to see it go. Most of it was in pretty good condition and I'm glad all the large ticket items sold, except for our small truck tool box. Boy, would I like to get rid of that. It's heavy, scratched, big, and is of absolutely no use to us.

As I was coming up with the title to today's blog, God reminded me of how he is in the process of getting rid of our old nature and replacing it with the new. I'm so thankful for that! I'm so glad I'm not who I used to be and I shudder to think of who I would be after these last 20 years that he has been working on me, had he not come into my heart.

I couldn't title today's blog Out With the Old and In With the New because we're not in a place to do "new" right now. We're in the process of dreaming and saving and praying for tile floors, paint, furniture, cabinets, and more square footage. I don't know yet if that's what God wants for us, but we're saving towards it in the meantime. If he has somewhere else for the money to go after a few years, that's fine, at least we'll be ready.

In the meantime, we wait, and live with scratches, dents, stains, and cramped quarters, but I'm thankful we have a home. So many don't. Please pray for the homeless and pray for wisdom for those who are working on starting the Turlock Gospel Mission. It's a large undertaking and the enemy would like nothing better than to secularize it or thwart it entirely.

Attributes

After I wrote of my fears about having my shot the other day, a close friend emailed me and wrote "From one chicken to another . . . I will be praying for you." I can't tell you how unalone I felt when I read that. From one chicken to another. I don't mind having that attribute when there is someone to share it with me. Funny how a few simmple words can go such a long way in touching someone's heart.

Speaking of attributes, I decided last week to do a study on the attributes of God. Not that I know anything about doing a study like this, but I thought I would give it a try. I'm just going to start with Genesis and go verse by verse writing down all the attributes as I go along. My goal is to make it through Revelation. It might take a year or two, but I thought it would be a fun long study. As my list gets lengthy and hard to manage, as I start having trouble seeing if I'm repeating attributes, I'll transfer it to Word or Excel and do Edit, Finds to make sure I'm not duplicating myself. When I'm done, I'll alphabetize it. If you know of another way to study the attributes of God, other than purchasing a study guide, please let me know.

You might be thinking, boy, does that sound tedious and monotonous! I admit, God has crafted me to be a little cerebral. I love to read and study and dig and debate information. The process may get a little tedious, but I'm looking forward to when I finish, or maybe even during the process, as I look over the words and start to meditate on what God is like. I look forward to knowing Him better, to make correlations between his characteristics and mine, and to see where I need to improve. I am made in His image, but I have in no way "arrived".