Just Walk Across the Room #3

By Bill Hybels.  Here we go with Chapter 4.

Points for Practicing Commonality:  . . . relax your agenda enough to uncover what they're involved in.  . . . watch for ways to build bridges instead of walls when you are discovering people's stories.

This is a really an important point, so I'm going to expound on it.  Case in point:  A few months ago, I was working with Greg at one of our retail store accounts and a man in his 50's drove up to our truck and trailer, walked up to me (Greg was about 75 feet away) and started asking me questions, rapid-fire.  "Have you ever read the Bible?"  I responded, "Yes, I have."  He responded, "Well, have you read it carefully?  There are things in it that aren't quite true.  Here, I'll give you this, read this.  It will explain everything.  Do you know where you'll go if you die tomorrow?  It's very easy to misunderstand the Bible."  On and on he went, barely giving me a chance to answer his questions or correct him.  I did get to spit out that we were Pastors hoping this would slow him down, but it didn't.  He responded, "Well, many Pastors have been misled by the Bible, it's hard to decipher."  I told him I wasn't interested in his booklet (J.W. WatchTower).  I was being as nice as I could, knowing I was representing Christ, but motor mouth was more interested in his agenda than building trust or a bridge with me whereby I would even be open to continue the coversation with him.  He finally left when Greg told him three or four times thank you, but we weren't interested and that we had to continue working.

Here's another experience I had.  I man in his 60's and a boy about 6 came to my door, all dressed up in slacks, dress shirt, tie and jacket.  The little boy did all the talking.  He asked if I was interested in learning how to do better in these tough financial times.  He asked if he could leave a booklet with me on how to manage my money better.  I said, sure.  I knew he was in training for something, I just didn't know what.  Then finally the man spoke and asked if they could come by the next week after I had a chance to read the book.  I said sure.  They never came back.  The back of the booklet showed they were either Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses.  Now, if I were to get all dressed up, coach a child in how to deliver a message, carry around booklets, and represent my particular faith, asking if I could come back, and getting an affirmative answer, I WOULD MAKE SURE I CAME BACK!  To me this showed a lack of integrity, not following through on a committment.  Either that or they were lying to me, never intending to come back, and just wanted to get a book in my hands to read, thinking coming back would make sure I was prepared to discuss it when they came back.  Both experiences left me very disappointed and disgusted.

Pushing agendas at people almost never leads them to Christ.  In fact, it's one of the many reasons people are leary of Christians and Christianity in the first place.  Be genuine in your relationships with people.  Ask God to prepare the soil ahead of you and to open doors for you to speak when the time is right.  Closing the deal should never be the motivator.  Loving people, showing Christ's genuine care for them, opens the doors.  Share your own experiences when they are ready to hear them.  Don't use Christian jargon.  Genuine care for people builds trust and bridges to their hearts.  That's the first step.

Blessings as this storm comes in.