An Old Friend

I really don't know if I can classify him as a friend. What makes a friend? Frequency of visits? Length of time spent? Depth of intimacy of conversation? Trust level? Feelings of benevolence toward someone?

Greg and I went for our almost nightly walk last night but decided to walk to the park, which is a totally different direction and usually results in an 'incident'. I wrote months ago about the time we walked to the park and ended up with our names on a police report after witnessing a neighborhood display of anger with the throwing of a bicycle multiple times in the street. It was then that we met these folks. I honestly can't be sure of their names and I should have asked last night, but it was enough to see how warmly we were welcomed by this young man. His friend had just whizzed by us on a forked motorcycle/street bike concoction. No helmet, which caused me alarm considering how fast he went down the street. This young man, we'll call him Juan, saw us, recognized us from a couple of walks before, stretched out his tattooed arm, and with a sweet, sheepish grin, shook our hands with a "Hi, how are you guys doing? I just got out, 34 days." I saw his sister, Vanessa with their little sister slip into the house. I really want to know more of this guy's story. It seems like there is a deep pool there, even though he can't be more than 20 years old. Skinny as a rail and dressed in a white t-shirt down to his shins, I look forward to having a long conversation with him. He's a sweet spirit for sure.

I've always had trouble figuring out what makes someone a friend. If you had to invite people to your wedding, is the line of who gets invited and who doesn't the determining factor of who friends are and who they aren't? Is it the people who's names you know and say hi to when you see them? Or is a deeper commitment required? Funk & Wagnalls defines a friend as 1. One who is personally well known by oneself and for whom one has warm regard or affection; intimate. 2. One with whom one is on speaking terms; as associate or acquaintance. 3. One who belongs to the same nation, party, etc., as oneself; also, one with whom one is united in some purpose, cause, etc. 4. A patron or supporter.

Let's try to expand our circle of friends today. Who around you can you develop a warm regard and affection for?

Blessings to you, my friend, this Tuesday.

Kindred Spirit

Yesterday Greg and I had the privilege of going to the Mayor's Prayer Breakfast. We had never been before, and had never felt a desire to go. When our Pastor announced it last Sunday we both had a longing to attend. We didn't tell each other as we sat in service. It wasn't necessarily because of the speaker but we had a tug to go. Greg sat there thinking, "How can I rearrange my work schedule to be able to go?" I sat there thinking, "With our remodel, can we afford the $20 tickets to go?"

After service some dear friends approached us and said they had two tickets they couldn't use, and did we want to go? We still didn't know each other wanted to go, and we both said, "Yes!"

Josh McDowell was the guest speaker. He was funny, sentimental, intellectual and covered things like the probability of kids in single or double parent households getting into trouble based on the type of relationship they had with their father and their mother had with their father, his childhood, and his family. He talked about relationships molding our beliefs, which mold our values, which mold our behavior. It was a great talk.

I have to say my favorite part was sitting next to some friends we've had the pleasure of sharing meals with in the past. I truly feel a kindred spirit with this couple. I sat next to the wife and we talked and talked all during breakfast. We talked about marriages, and how it seemed when you have a wife who is emotional (likes to get with girlfriends and talk, shop, go to retreats with other ladies, cry, etc.) it seems she and her husband don't have the same close relationship as a couple where the wife is more task/logical. I was thinking this morning that women who are more emotional (probably not the best word, probably something like 'more female' or something) are also more dependent on their mothers even after they are married and united with their husbands as one. We concluded that this wife is more on the same wavelength as her husband and they can relate to each other better.

Greg popped in and out of our conversation. At one point he asked her, "Are you more likely to go to a retreat with other ladies, or stay home?" She said, "Stay home." It was then that I put my arm around her and announced her as my good friend, and realizing I was just like her, she said she loved me.

It's friendships like this that make life fun. Who is your kindred spirit? Someone with the same values and beliefs that you have? Someone who understands you and likes the things you do?

Blessings!