Sunday, December 30, 2007

Nuggets #7

Sorry I missed yesterday. I had a huge sinus headache and took a big nap in the afternoon, which helped immensely.

An Unstoppable Force by Erwin McManus
Continuing on with Blinding Speed
In relationship to velocity, the catalyst's first focus is calling people out to the purpose of God. Movement will not happen if people do not move together in common mission. The catalyst takes seriously the description of the first century church being of one heart and mind.

The second focus is the need to accelerate the group's response to the Spirit of God. The spiritual catalyst experiences God as the wind of his spirit and recognizes that momentum remains fragile in the time between understanding and commitment. Momentum is both powerful and fragile at the same time: powerful in that, once it is obtained, its force can be unstoppable; fragile in that it can be easily lost.

The church that learns to celebrate the spontaneous movement of God's spirit and even the unexpected invitation to follow him increases the force of its movement. The catalyst not only calls God's people to move toward intentionality, but continually inspires and motivates God's people to accelerate their rate of spiritual response.

Seeing at Blinding Speed
I want to make clear that what focuses the speed of the church is not a plan but a purpose and a passion.

Spiritual leadership is not the ability to define everything the future holds. It is the willingness to move forward when all you know is God. The apostolic leader finds his direction from the compass of the purpose of God, is fueled by the passions of God, and, while he's moving to do what he knows, God clarifies and directs.

Spiritual Magnetism
If you're committed to velocity - to focused speed - but you're all alone and h ave no mass, you might wonder how you can be a part of creating movement. You may not be able to immediately affect volume, but you can affect density. The beginning point is always ourselves. We must submit our lives to Jesus Christ, let him change our hearts and character, become servants, and model a life of humility and sacrifice. Then our spiritual density will make us magnetic. The more Christ reigns in our lives, the more people will be drawn to the Jesus in us.

That's the end of Chapter Two. Blogging about this book motivates me to read faster. As you have probably figured out, my passion is church leadership. I love discipling people one on one, whether in a 1-2 hour meeting, in passing, or in casual conversation. I love to pour. I love helping leaders learn how to disciple their volunteers and leaders. Some of you may be called to teach others God's character and model his relationship to his creation. Some of you are called to serve, some of you are called to pray. some of you may not even know what your call is. One way to find out is to take a Spiritual Gifts Inventory. It's a great place to start in finding out how God is shaping you for service. Blessings to you this Sabbath.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Nuggets #6

Continueing on with the book An Unstoppable Force by Erwin McManus
Intelligent Speed
Obedience is the spiritual equivalent of speed. Light speed is immediate obedience to the voice of God. When you bring together the willingness to obey and the wisdom to know what God is saying, velocity emerges. It is a synergy between direction and decision. As God brings light into your life through his Word, you accelerate.

Gaining the Lead
The leader must have a clear direction and must move with intentionality in that direction. I know that it's been said many times before, but the leader actually does need to be in front.

Blinding Speed
When you move with spiritual velocity, with a clear sense of God's calling, with clarity of vision, and with a heart that moves with immediate obedience to the Spirit, the environment that once overwhelmed you with its rate of speed can now be experienced in slow motion. The way not to be overwhelmed by the radical changes and speed in our world is to know where you're going to know why you're going there, and to do it with urgency.

(Now this is really good)
Speed is an important leadership dynamic because it helps the leader identify emerging leaders, as well as helping others identify him or her as a leader. When the pace of the church is unusually slow, those individuals who desire to get somewhere quickly will be naturally filtered out. If the person who stand in the role of leadership or in the position of leadership moves slowly, or even cautiously, he will not only be seen by those who appreciate that pace. At the same time, the leader who values a slow rate of change often perceives those who try to move faster as rebellious, insubordinate, undisciplined, and adversarial.

The tragedy is that many who are perhaps crafted by God to become apostolic leaders become invisible to those who see velocity as the enemy of the church. By the same token, the leader who moves at an accelerated speed with intention and a God-given direction can more effectively identify those who have apostolic gifts. Such a leader literally begins to see certain people more clearly. It is almost as if we lie in a different space-time continuum.

For those who choose to move slowly, those who move too fast are a blur. And for those who move rapidly, those who move slowly can be virtually invisible. It is as if we're moving at a blinding speed. The rate at which you lead determines who remains in your field of vision. The practical result of this is that, many times, revolutionary leaders are seen as indifferent and perhaps uncaring. They don't stop long enough to check the wounded.

Apostolic leaders understand that what God is creating is a community with a cause. Both the needs of the community and the sacrifice necessary to accomplish the cause are clearly before them. It is through such leadership that movement is initiated. Fueled by faith, these leaders move forward to accomplish the purpose of God. They personify velocity: speed with a purpose.

These four paragraphs are so true. I've seen it played out with many people I know, including me. So, are you fast, purposeful, fueled, decisive and leading? Are you slow, not knowing where you're going, not hearing from God, flailing about in the abyss of your Christian faith? If so, it's time to pray! Pray for direction, purpose, passion, clarity and light. God will answer. Again, it comes down to a willing heart. Are you surrendered?

I met with a vendor yesterday. He's a very open person for a salesman. He says things he probably shouldn't, but fortunately, I'm not one to take advantage of his transparency. We have been working out the details of switching copiers. He had called me a few times to see if I was ready to sign. I didn't sense it at the time, but he told me yesterday it had been a slow month, and with Christmas, he was really happy I decided to sign yesterday. He said Monday he had resigned himself that this deal would happen in January. I could see a teaching moment. I said, "See, once you let go of the situation . . ." I could see the light go off in his head. He stopped, wagged his finger at me as if to say, "Yeah, you've got something there, you're right." Are you letting go of whatever situation is keeping your from following God with everything you have? It's when we open those tightly closed fists that God is able to pour something better into them.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Nuggets #5

Now we're on Chapter Two of An Unstoppable Force by Erwin McManus: Momentum
In Isaiah He (God) clearly declares that, while we are to remember the past, we are not to remain in the past. Our memories of God's activity in our lives are to move us into the future. Our experiences from the past are to give us the confidence to face the challenges of tomorrow.

A Refuge FOR the World, Not FROM It
But the church was never intended to be a monastery. In fact, God intends that there be no place that we can hide, except in his presence. When the church becomes our shelter from a radically changing world, we fail to turn to God and make him our hiding place and our shelter.

Mass Can Be a Mess
Conferences and siminars are jampacked with church leaders who come with one simple questions, "How can my church grow?" Only after we begin to deal with the complexities and challenges of growth do we tune in to issues such as assimilation and discipleship. Anyone who has experineced significant growth in a congregation knows that assimilation and discipleship are integral to growth and, in many ways, impossible to separate from that dynamic. But when you're standing at the front end of the challenge of leading a congregation to grow, you're just asking the simple question, "How do I get more people here?" It doesn't take that much intuition to figure out that if you don't have any people, you're not pastoring a congregation.
Mass equals people. Without people there is no momentum. When people move together with common purpose, momentum happens. And while most Christians would quickly acknowledge that it is important to reach people for Christ, an underlying comfort level is often threatened when growth actually happens.

The same people who make the church messy also make the church meaningful. We must be willing to make a mess to save a life.

That's probably enough for today. Chapter two is fascinating. It's all about growth and momentum and how pastors often think the way to make their church grow (which unfortunately seems to be the goal of many) is to read blogs, listen to podcasts, and read books on how other pastors in other parts of the country have done it. I think what some pastors don't realize is that growth happens in two ways. The first is that the pastor wholeheartedly seeks God and His direction for that particular church. He listens for God and doesn't just shoot in the dark by trying different things, or copying someone else. It's also about connecting individuals to other individuals and having a discipleship strategy in place. That means Bible studies, small groups and one on one discipleship relationships. When all people get is teaching on Sunday morning, it's a buckshot approach. You're hoping that what is said to the crowd actually lands in people's hearts. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't because everyone is in a different place with different issues and questions, but there is no one to ask questions of during a Sunday morning teaching.

Jesus addressed the crowds. Many were added to their number. These people accepted the Gospel. But that's not how you make leaders. Jesus then walked alongside his disciples. That was his small group. Then He took a few off to the side and taught them individually. That's one on one discipleship. It was His disciples who became leaders and started the church when Jesus rose, not the crowd.

So, the question for today is . . . Where are you? Are you part of the crowd, sitting and listening once a week? Are you growing by serving and practicing God's commands? Are you being discipled in a small group? Are you leading a small group or growing someone individually? Are you turning out leaders who will turn out leaders? Are you reaching even furuther than that? God has a purpose for your life. How willing are you? He's watching your heart and your actions. Surrender all and be in for the ride of your life!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Nuggets #4 & Christmas

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! We did! It started by taking a walk Christmas Eve afternoon. The kids went to their dad's Monday evening and we went out to dinner. Ahhhh. We did our traditional 'open one present Christmas Eve' then headed for bed. I asked God to wake me up between 2 and 3 in the morning so I could fill the stockings and set out the Santa presents. Exactly at 2:00, I woke up wide awake. As I did my Santa duties, I noticed Mark had sprayed all the windows with snow after we went to bed. I love his Christmas spirit!

The next morning, after sleeping in a little, we got up and did the stockings. Greg and I then made a big breakfast, and then we opened the gifts. Halfway through my mom called to wish us a Merry Christmas. It was our first Christmas without any family. It was so stress free, we had a ball! Greg and I took another walk yesterday afternoon, and I fell asleep after a great filet mignon dinner, while the family watched Pirates 3. Ahhhhh. It was great!

Nuggets #4 An Unstoppable Force by Erwin McManus
Chapter One, Friction Traction

His approach toward us is often to invite us to believe in him and move in his power. God's first choice is to search for a heart that is wholly his and then strongly support it. But many times that is not the condition of our hearts. Often it is God who forces circumstances upon us in which it becomes necessary for us to rely on God's goodness.

For two thousand years Jesus has commanded us to go and make disciples of all nations. We have, at best, given this command nominal adherance.

Meet Your Neighbor
When everyone in the community looks just like you, it is not difficult to justify isolation and exclusivity.

For years the bulk of American Christians who were committed to "missions" could only participate through giving and praying. Today the call to cross-cultural ministry doesn't even require going; it just requires staying with a purpose.

The friction increases as we feel the church surrendering Spirit to technique.

When the Many Become One
If your goal is a diverse church, then you need to ask God to give you love for people who are different from you. People go to church where they have friends or make friends. You can't expect people who are different from you to come to church simply because you want to paint a picture of diversity. This only happens when love actually brings people together.

Seeing the Board Differently
Concede the center - the church is supposed to live on the edge anyway. Send the bishops to the edges - the leaders of the church need to be apostles, prophets, and evangelists, not simply pastors/teachers. And embrace positional sacrifice - no longer hide our weaknesses, but stand in them so that, through them, God can be revealed as our strength.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Christmas Prep

Today Greg, Kristen and I went to Escalon to visit Greg's mom, pick tangerines and oranges, and exchange gifts. Mark had to work. It was fun.

The rest of the day was sprinkled with exercise, shopping, laundry, cooking, cleaning, crocheting and eating. Not a day of rest, but that will be Tuesday.

Tomorrow we work 1/2 day then I will try and get my car's oil changed. Everything is wrapped, and all I forgot at the store was asparagus and TP, so FoodMaxx will get another visit tomorrow.

Can't wait until Christmas! It's my favorite holiday. Blessings to you as you celebrate our Savior's birth.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Prayer Walk con't and Nuggets #3

I forgot one other thing God showed me yesterday.
We walked past a house that had trees and vines that had overgrown the yard. There was foliage everywhere. God said that people's lives can get like that. With the busyness of life and the accumulation of things, people can become slaves to their possessions and lose sight of what's important. God didn't intend for us to be slaves but to have freedom. Pruning takes hard work, but we must cut the things that aren't beneficial to us. Only through routine pruning can God bring health and growth to our lives.

Greg had a similar thought from God. It was a Mulberry tree. They are those knotty, large trunked trees you see in people's yards. They prune them every year because they've been taught that that is what you do to Mulberry trees. However, what people don't know is that if you let a Mulberry tree grow, it will actually slow down after several years and it really doesn't need pruning each year. He said that's how the people on the West Side are. They get going, things are starting to look up, then something happens to take them down again. Over and over they start to grow and then they're stopped, cut down. When a Mulberry tree is pruned it's root system becomes invasive. It become a detriment to the yard.

Nuggets #3 from Erwin McManus' An Unstoppable Force
Continuing in Chapter None:
"We've been taught that we are the center of the universe, and we evaluate everything on its abililty to meet our needs. Some of the best communicators of the Scriptures who I know have had people leave their churches for the express reason that they're not being fed. I know that we are the sheep of God, and sheep require the Shepherd to feed them, but there must come a time when we become the shepherds who feed others."
"Is it really all about us being fed? I think it might be important to remember that over 60 percent of Americans are overweight or even obese. Is it possible that this is also true in the arena of personal spirituality? Are we too much about us getting fed and too little about us exercising our faith?"
"Too many of our statements about the crisis in the American church center on the superficial arena of style and neglect to go to the core issue of self. At the core of so much of the resistance the church is experiencing is the preservation of selfishness and self-centeredness. It is one thing to have a preference; it is another to demand that one's preferences be honored above the needs of those without Christ."
Safe Theology:
You've heard it said that the safest place to be is in the center of God's will. I amsure this promis was well intended, but it is neither true nor innocuous. When we believe that God's purpose, intention, or promise is that we will be safe from harm, we are utterly disconnected from the movement and power of God."
Thoughts?

Friday, December 21, 2007

Our First Prayer Walk

Today Greg and I went on our first prayer walk together. We walked in the West Side of town. We decided to walk for an hour. On our walk, we saw a poster for an even at one of the parks that included food and a medical exam. On the flyer it said, "Come meet Jimmy Webb, a 49'ers football player." I felt honored I knew a 49er football player!!!!! Then we saw Tricia drive by. We felt at home.

I spent about half the time praying for those there, the other half listening to God. God used the sights of the West Side to speak to us. Here's what I got!
1. Potholes - Some people have potholes in their hearts. They've been so hurt they have huge holes that only I can fill.
2. Cracks - Some people have many fractures in their hearts. Left untreated they can become potholes.
3. Concrete slabs lifted by roots or unstable ground - Through no decisions of their own, some people experience huge upheavals in their lives. Divorce and abuse are examples. They're still basically together, functioning for their kids because they have to, but their foundation has been shaken. Often it requires the root be taken out, the underlying ground leveled and new layers of level dirt added to create a solid foundation (God). If the foundation is solid, not even the waters of life's stresses will shake the slab again.
4. Boarded up house - Though the house looks well kept and new on the outside, it is empty inside. Something happened to the heart so severe, the owner knew nothing else to do but board up the windows and lock the door. Keep knocking and don't give up. Eventually the owner will open the door a crack to see what you want. Fill the house with love. keep pouring and pouring and pouring. When the house if full of love the owner will be open to you. Since the boards were hammered on from the outside, they can't remove them from the inside. Ask them if they will come out and help you remove them together. They they will be able to see the world again.
5. Nice cars, rundown houses - These are a prideful people. They want to look successful in front of co-workers and others so they spend their money on nice cars, not on nice housing. If others saw their homes they wouldn't think of them the same way.
6. Look at the sky - Do you see how vast it is? My love is wider and farther than you can even see. Tell them I love them. Tell them I love them. Tell them I love them.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Nuggets #2

Moving on from the prequel of An Unstoppable Force by Erwin McManus to Chapter None (not a typo) here's what struck me.

"Seminaries began to produce what local churches perceived they needed: godly men who had a professional understanding of theology, pastoral care, and management. Pastors were valued for their ability to bring and keep order rather than for their ability to bring and lead change. The reality was that pastors were being equipped to preserve the past rather than to create the future. We beame known for being traditional rather than transformational. The ritual replaced the radical. The pastor/teacher replaced the apostle/evangelist."

"In many ways the emergence of the parachurch reflects the paralysis within the local church. When we stopped calling youth to the mission of Christ, Youth With a Mission emerged. When we ignored the opportunity to reach university students, Campus Crusade emerged. When we settled for church attendance and neglected discipleship, Navigators emerged. When we hesitated to call men to the role of spiritual leadership, Promise Keepers emerged. The church became a fortress from the world rather than the hope of the world. Seekers are looking for spiritual integration. This means that we must provide community with cause and meaning with healing."

"The focus is not in serving the world; the church itself became the focal point. Our motto degenerated from "We are the church, here to serve a lost and broken world" to "What does the church have to offer me?" This move has made the pastor the only minister, while making the members the only recipients of ministry."

"The church became a refuge from the world rather than a force in the world. Predictability and stability became dominant themes. The cultural environment became comfortable, and the Gospel shifted from a church "on mission" to a church that supported missions.
Another aspect of our culture that emerged from this era was the concept of customer service. We both expect and demand to be treated as consumers. "If you want my patronage, you had better cater to my needs." This type of ideology became a reality for the church. In both traditional and contemporary churches the member became the customer to whom the product was tailored."

That's probably enough to chew on for today. I hope this stirs some radical thoughts in your heart and I also hope it makes you want to pick up this book by a man who is very clear and on track in his theology. He sees and explains the past and present and offers prescriptions for where we've brought ourselves. Great stuff!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Nuggets

Though I'm only 80 pages into this book by Erwin McManus, An Unstoppable Force, I wanted to give you some nuggets I've discovered on these pages.

One topic in the prequel is Spontaneous Reproduction. "Species do not have to be taught to reproduce. It is inherent in their nature. In much of the church, however, this characteristic seems to be missing. The church must be relased to do that which comes naturally."

"Mules are best know for being stubborn and sterile. In some ways they illustrate all too well what happens when man begins to play God. All to often we have to acknowledge such a description in our manmade churches. Churches that are born by God have the capacity for spontaneous reproduction that is a result of an internal force that drives a species. When the church is a vibrant organism, life is reproduced over and over again. Vibrant Christians reproduce new believers, vibrant small groups reproduce new communities of faith, and vibrant chruches become the catalysts for an apostolic movement."

Another topic is called the Nurturing Instinct. "Insufficient nurture can be seen when new converts too easily and too often fall away, and excessive nurture can be seen when those that we consider mature Christians have yet to embrace the mission of Christ in a personal way. The first one creates too big of a back door and the second one creates a logjam at the front door. An apostolic environment nurtures the full and dynamic expression of faith, love, and hope."

And the last topic for today, Life Cycle Harmony. "This is simply the realization and embracing of one's own birth, life, and death. It can be sobering to realize that a major portion of our lives is given to preparing the next generation for life. Each generation is connnected to the generation before it and the generation that follows. In the prime of our lives we begin the process of replacing ourselves.

When a healthy relationship exists within the life cycle, a selflessness of givng oneself away is created. The more one focuses on one's own living, the less one is concerned about giving life to others. The only way church buildings stay filled through generations is if the church lives and dies and is born again over and over."

What do you think? Do you want to read more?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Two Kinds of Exercise


I had a wonderful time with my son last night. Greg had come home from Physical Therapy for his back tired and sore and didn't want to do our normal walk after dinner. Fortunately, I was able to recruit my son to walk with me without much trying! As we walked around the neighborhood we talked about Christmas, friends, and church. One thing I so enjoyed was that I was able to walk quickly and he kept up with me just fine. Greg prefers to walk slower, which was hard for me to grasp at first because he has such long legs. I got a good workout with Mark last night!

The other kind of exercise I got on my walk was intellectual. I'm reading a book by Erwin McManus called An Unstoppable Force: Daring to Become the Church God Had in Mind. I just love this book. It really speaks to me about the way church is typically done and how it could be done so much more effectively. As Mark and I talked about church, we got into a debate (we both love to debate) about big churches vs. small churches. We talked about the pros and cons of each and it gave me an opportunity to really exercise my brain by speaking about what I had learned and what I believe. As we walked up to the door, Mark said, "Well, I hope we both learned something." I love that. He shares the same heart I do for learning from others through conversation, challenging each other's beliefs, proving our own beliefs, and coming away with an admiration and respect for the each other. What a blessing it is to learn from other people as well as from books. I welcome anyone to challenge my beliefs or knowledge. I think we all become stronger as a result of the exchanging of ideas.

Tomorrow I'll blog about what I've highlighted in the book. It's great, and at times, an intellectual challenge. Love it!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Behold

Last night we went to Behold the Lamb of God, The Hope of Man. It was fabulous. What talent! It's a mystery to me how Jon sang that lineage song. What a blessing. I hope someone taped one of the performances so we can have it on DVD. it definitely would be a family favorite to be played each year at Christmas time.

God gave Greg and I an interesting ministry experience yesterday. We went to take a walk after lunch. Normally it is our 'twice around our block, once around the block across the street' mile. Kristen asked us where we would be walking and confirmed it once or twice, and that's what we told her. However, when we shut the door, I had a thought to walk to the park, a 2-mile walk in a near straight line south of our house. Greg said, "I want to walk to the park." Well, plans change! The last time this happened, we ended up counseling a couple in our neighborhood for a few months and helping them stay married.

We walked to the park, swung on some swings, where I giggled my silly head off! We headed back home and heard some loud yelling a few houses in front of us. My instinct was to turn down Tom Lombardo's street and head home a different way. Greg, being the direct, confronter type, pulled my hand forward. I reminded him about safety (a mother's instinct to is stay alive until her kids are out of the nest). He said I had the same big God he did and we were going to be protected. Can't argue with that!

Fortunately he at least had us cross the street so we weren't directly in front of the confrontation. About 6 caucasian boys in their late teens were yelling obscenities at these two hispanics walking away to a house a few doors down. They had a ten speed bike and were throwing it over and over into the street, threatening the two. As we continued to walk, we saw many neighbors come out and stand in their garages, looking to see what would happen next. A police car whizzed down the street and stopped in front of the boys' house. Then a second police car. When we got about 4-5 houses past the altercation, Greg stopped at one house with a hispanic lady in her late teens or early 20's and a teenage hispanic boy. Greg made a comment and she replied and then we learned their story.

There had been many altercations with this house and theirs. The police talk to both families and nothing can be done. A young parolee in the house had been riding the bike when a BMW parked across the street from the first house had side-swiped him. He got off the bike and made his way home. He came out limping while we were talking to the lady. One of the police officers came and questioned Greg and I and took all our information. Then the next police officer did the same. When we were done telling what we had seen, we went over to the lady and now about 5 other hispanic young men who had come out of the house and prayed for them. We learned that the lady's little sister gets off the bus in front of the boys' house and once they pulled a gun and she ran home.

This was an important experience for me in ways I can't blog about yet. Though I was a little scared at the hostility of the young men swearing and throwing the bike, I felt totally at ease with the other family. Through tattoos, piercings, low pants and backwards baseball caps, these were very sweet people. Greg reminded me I didn't necessarily know the whole story, which is a good reminder, but I felt like I didn't see the exterior, I saw the heart.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Tamalada

Last night we went to our first Tamalada. We were so blessed to be invided by Dennis and Holly Padilla to their home for a night of fellowship and food. I didn't even make it to the tamales and I was stuffed! They had a coffee company come and set up a tented coffee bar. I had 2 hot chocolates and Greg had his white mochas. We got to watch people make tamales, and if we so fortunate to be invited back next year, we will definitely do our minimum 20 tamales too! Making tamales is an all day process I learned. One couple made them the whole 2 hours we were there!

The Hughson Fire Department came with Santa and handed out things to the children. It was an eventful evening! Loved it!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

A Very Embarassing Moment

I admit it, I was due for one of these. I can't remember my last embarassing moment, but this one happened yesterday.

I took Kristen to her drum lesson. As we pulled up in front of the music store, Kristen said, "What's he doing?" There was a man with scruffy hair standing in front of the window with his back to us. A bush was covering him from the waist down. As I looked at him up against the window, I noticed his right hand shaking up and down very quickly. I thought, "Oh great, how am I going to get her inside the building without her seeing this?" I told her "Don't look." She said, "Eeewwww gross!" I made sure I positioned myself between her and him as another music student held the door open for us. We went in as quickly as possible, looking straight ahead.

We were immediately met by the drum teacher and went in the music room. I said, "You might want to check the guy standing in front of the front window." He said, "Really?" I said, "Really." He left right away and came back about 15 seconds later. He said, "You mean Jerry? The guy painting our window? He's a helper around here." I said, "It didn't look like he was painting the window." He hadn't started painting yet, he was just standing in front of a clean window, obviously shaking a can of paint. There were no rocks to climb under.

Uuuuugggggghhhhhh . . .

When I got home and the kids were out of earshot, I told Greg. He laughed so hard and turned so red I thought he would never stop. He asked permission to tell a few of his guy friends from church and I said, sure. I'm happy to give a good laugh when I can.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Options

I'm not usually one to share gobs of personal financial information, but knowing (for the most part) who's reading my blog, I feel very safe. So, here's what we did today!

Greg and I went to the bank that has our mortgage. We had them run numbers for a 15 year and 30 year fixed mortgage refinance. The average nation-wide interest rate is actually a little lower than what we're paying currently. The rates quoted by our mortgage holder were somewhat higher, so I need to shop around for sure.

The good news is that after working all the numbers and following Crown Ministries guidelines, we can get a $50K loan added to our current loan, pay off the truck and add what we're paying for that to the principle of this new loan, and pay what we're paying now for only 2 1/2 years more (which wold be a total of 9 years) and our house and remodel will be paid off completely! This looks do-able! Now the question will be, how much of the remodel labor can we do ourselves without messing it up, to keep the costs under $50K?

Today Greg showed me his plan to re-landscape the backyard. He's excited about doing it and so am I. We found a pretty waterfall wall at a model home he fell in love with and I loved the matching stone bench seats, so he had both in his plan. He also added a fenced in area that would be concrete to keep the dogs in if we had company and needed them contained. He added grass and planters. I didn't see grass, I saw a pool, but that will probably be over 9 years out at this point I'm thinking, maybe less, as we'll have more money when Kristen gets out of Turlock Christian in 2 1/2 years.

I would be foolish if I didn't give full credit for our financial position to God, our only provider. As I've written before, he's pulled money out of some very unlikely places when I've needed it and has given us wisdom in our decisions along the way.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

I'm baaaccccckkkk . . .

I think. We have a couple of things going on in our life right now, one of which I can't disclose yet, maybe in the spring. The other is our remodel. It's scarry just to say the word.

We're getting plans drawn up to enclose our patio to extend our livingroom and diningroom. Along with this is a kitchen remodel, paint, and tile. We don't know yet just what it will cost but have an idea of how much we're not going to spend.

We've looked at countertops, tile, appliances, etc. It makes my head swirl. Too many choices, too many stores to go to. It makes me uncomfortable not knowing if I'm getting the best deal or if saving money is just around the corner if I had just gone to another place.

Through all this, though, I have God's peace. Next year at this time our lives could be very, very different. I reminds me of when I knew I was going to marry Greg. There was anticipation, and I felt like I was riding on the coattails of something far better and faster than myself, legs flailing about in the wind behind me. I just had to hold on. I'm holding on now. I can't let go. Where we're going will be amazing, hard work, super high highs, and super low lows, but all worth it because it is God's will for us at this time.

Some say that being in God's will by following Him is the safest place to be. I agree. Some say that being in God's will by following Him is the most dangerous place to be. I agree with that too. I guess it's how you look at it.

Are you willing to be wherever God calls you to be? Safe or dangerous? Do you even have a choice, really?

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Old Faithful

As I was reading my friend Joanne's blog today, I decided to piggy-back on what she wrote. She talked about how wonderful it was to pick up her older, worn Bible that she spent so much time with.

It reminded me that I do that too, from time to time. I, too, have a Life Application Bible, but it is my newer one. I love it for the explanations at the bottom and the fresh wording, after spending years with my NIV Study Bible. But about 30 percent of the time, I travel back to my NIV. There's something comforting about the translation. Looking at all the highlights, it reminds me of the priciples that were so important to me as a single mom for 13 years. Those were the years I clung on to God with every bit of strength that I had. It was a real faith building time for me. God was ever so faithful.

I remember when he provided for us when a month and a half of child support was stolen from my front porch. When he provided for us when the cost of childcare and private education for my kids reached over $1000 a month and child support was often inconsistent and varied in amount. He was faithful when Mark ran off after the dog down the street at the age of 7 and around the corner and I couldn't find him and had to call the police. He was faithful when he was my constant companion when no one else was for those 13 years. He was faithful in helping me keep my job at least twice in spite of layoffs in my department. He was faithful in calling me into ministry when I had no clue, but only a passion.

He's still faithful. I see His hand in many situations in my life and in others'. The peace and joy that comes as a result of knowing God can't be beat by anything on this earth. Do you know God? I'd be happy to introduce you.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

MORP


Well, all went smoothly. Kristen got ready, I curled her hair as best I could, it's so thick it doesn't like to curl much unless a professional does it. She looked beautiful.

They had lots of fun. Jake and Jennah were chaperones. There was bull riding, pie eating contests, arm wrestling contests, lots of food and other fun things to do. It started to sprinkle just before we picked her up. She square danced and took lots of pictures.

Oh yeah, and we ordered our bed today. Very cool, can't wait to get it. We will have our California King pillow top mattress for sale, $200, only 5 years old, if anyone is interested. Very comfy, just doesn't help Greg's back after a long day of landscaping.

Off to bed!

Computer

I got my computer back yesterday. Boy, it sure runs faster with all it's memory modules working! I did still have trouble with it waking up after being asleep for several hours. We'll see how that works the next couple of days.

Last night we went to Mark's Choral Concert. It was wonderful! Wow, can those kids sing! There were a couple of spiritual songs and they even sang one of those again as an encore. It was amazing! Next time I'm taking my camera. They looked so sharp! We ran into some folks from church. The daughter has a class with Mark and they decided to come and support him. That was so sweet!

On tap for today is getting rid of my sinus headache, grocery shopping, clearing off my desk, and getting Kristen ready for MORP, in that order! Like I said yesterday, I'll try and post a picture of her tomorrow.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Belly Up

Remember me? Sorry it's been almost 2 weeks since I've posted. My computer went 'belly up' on Sunday and I haven't been motivated to use Greg's computer. So here's an update on a day in my life.

In some aspects my shoulder is a little worse. It's tight and more painful to move and sometimes doesn't have the range of motion of a few weeks ago. At other times, it's comfortable and movable, but loose, rolling around and clicking in both my shoulder joint and my shoulder blade, which is a little weird. I'm sticking with it though.

Mark has a Choral Concert tonight at CSUS at 7:30 in the recital hall. He gets to wear a tux he bought. They're singing 5 Hebrew love songs. I hope they sing them in English! Tickets are $8 at the door, $6 for students and seniors.

We pick up Kristen's dress today. We opted to pull the plastic hoops out of the skirt last Saturday and have her wear a petticoat instead. It's not quite as full, but is round instead of wavy. She'll look amazing. I'll post a picture.

Greg got an A in his preaching class. He got A's in all aspects of the class and great comments on his topic, stories, and message. The other students gave their talk from the perspective of preaching to a congregation. He gave his talk from the perspective of a preaching to a group of Pastors, which is essentially what he was doing. He wanted to pour into these future Pastors and encourage them, which to me, is the true heart of a Pastor, pouring into others. He's now taking a class called Creative Conflict Resolution. I'm sure he'll get an A in that one too. He's amazing.

Today we go shopping. Greg has done a great job of saving money in the business, so we're looking at a sleep number bed and tile for the floors. We also need to make some changes to our cell phones. I love to shop. It might be weeks before we buy anything, but I love to imagine what things will look like. I guess it's the planner in me.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Cracked Pots

Those of you who are familiar with Kay Arthur's writings are probably remembering the visions God has given her about cracked pots. I've never read Kay Arthur before, but I'm reading a book that referred to one of her visions and I'd like to share it with you.

In her teaching "God Uses Cracked Pots", Kay explains:

I had a vision in which there were two pots. One pot was beautiful and flawless. The Light of the Lord was in the pot. But suddenly a hand covered the mouth of the pot and the Lord asked, "Patsy, where do you see My light shining from." I said, "From nowhere." Then He showed her another pot - it was ugly and full of cracks, He put His light in it and His hand covered the opening. He asked, "Where do you see My light shining from now?" I replied, "I see it shining from the broken places."

Isn't that just like God? He uses the weak to lead the strong. He takes the difficulties in your life to speak to the hearts of those going through the same things, to encourage them and give them hope, and wisdom.

I've been the recipient of this principle. I was sitting at the pediatrician's office with my newborn daughter. There was a lady from our church there, about 10 years older than me. She had the perfect life I thought, three adorable kids and a good Christian husband. She asked how my family was and I told her my husband and I separated about six months ago. She proceeded to tell me how she and her husband separated early in their marriage too. It encouraged me that they were together and thriving. Though the same didn't work out for me, I felt privileged to be included in a private glimpse of their lives.

What are your cracks? Who can you share a private glimpse of your life with? Are you afraid to be transparent for fear of what people will think? Don't be. God has created you and allowed your experiences to happen to you. And through these experiences, God will use you to help others. Live authentically, transparently, openly, and honestly. Be the person God created you to be.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

God's Timing

Yesterday was a great day. I had a date with my very handsome 18 year old son at his school for lunch. I've got to tell you, if you've never eaten at the CSU Stanislaus cafeteria, you have missed a premier eating establishment. It was FABULOUS! I had a CLT (chicken, lettuce, tomato) combo. Over a year ago they went to 100% trans fat free. Those were the best fries I've ever eaten. The prices were great, the selection fantastic, and everything looked and smelled wonderful. The service was great and the atmosphere at Mom's very comfortable. I've found a new restaurant for sure. Mark was ever the gentleman, opening every door, carrying everything, great conversation, it was a lunch to remember. It's so cool to raise a young man and then have him take you to lunch. As every year of his his life, it's a great age.

This week my Doctor got back to me on what to take for my shoulder inflammation to help speed the process of breaking it free. 400 mg of Advil, twice a day. I bought the Advil Tuesday and planned to start it this week. Yesterday he called to say he had a better drug, a pain killer, and was calling the prescription in. On the good side, it probably doesn't have blood pressure side effects. On the bad side, it can make me sleepy, so it's a narcotic, maybe even addictive. I planned to pick it up last night but got way-layed by other things I had to do, namely, exercising my arm, walking with Greg, and meeting Mark to pick out a tie for his gig Saturday.

Lo and behold, as I heated my arm and started my exercises, I was amazed to see my shoulder move further back than it had since March. Most of the pain and impingement was gone. Even the discomfort after exercising was less. I was elated.

It was as if God was saying, "I don't want you on narcotics, I can help you, here you go." It was a breakthrough to be sure. I can't wait to show my PT Friday and see what she says.

I appreciate everyone's prayers and concern over my shoulder. It's been a strange journey. I'll keep you posted.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

A New Experience

For the last week or so I've had pain in my lower back. It felt fused and unmovable. Somedays it was hardly noticeable, other days I had to move in slow motion. Thursday night, I got up from the sofa and felt a twinge. During the night it got much worse, totally freezing on me.

In the past, working at Gallo, whenever I had back trouble I just went to see the on-site physical therapist and he got me going in no time. I don't have that luxury now, so I had to decide what to do. Greg has gone to Atkinson Chiropractic a couple of times recently and just raved about it. Though I've never gone to a chiropractor, I felt I had no other choice. My PT appointment was at 10:30, and Dave Atkinson could only see me at 10. I had to go to Dave and move the PT appointment.

Greg was right. Dave was wonderful. First he did a thermal scan of my spine, showing every vertebrae and a color code of 1,2, or 3 as to how severe it was. He pinpointed the vertebraes that were out of alignment. Next, two x-rays. I was happy to find out I had great spacing between all my bones and did not have degenerative disc disease, which I was told 5 years ago from another x-ray. However, there is a curvature to my spine. I kind of knew that. When I was 13, an orthopedic specialist told me I had lumbar scoliosis of 14 degrees. I did exercises to straighten it out. Dave said it wasn't 14 degrees, but could attribute to me having back problems once in a while. I've also believed I had one leg shorter than the other. He wasn't so sure without measuring them. From the x-ray it looked like my pelvis was tilted instead. He also educated me on when to use a heating pad and when to use ice. Since I had burned my back the night before from sleeping on the heating pad, I needed to use more ice, plus low pain requires heat, high pain requires ice. Good to know!

After the diagnostics, he hooked me up to electrodes to lessen the inflammation and pain. Then he adjusted me. It's a rather forceful procedure, but I heard the air popping out of my spine and felt the pain leaving. It felt so much better afterwards. He wants to see me back Monday just to follow-up, told me I could call him at home if I needed to this weekend, and gave me a hug before I left. All in all it was a great experience.

Today Kristen and I look for a dress for MORP. We found one online, but we're going to look locally as well. We might find something much less expensive but just as cute. If we buy one online, this is what we'll get. Southern belle dress.

Some of my friends invited me to Women of Faith this weekend but I'm really glad I didn't accept, as I would have had to bail last minute because of my back. Since I'm home, I get to shop with Kristen, and take care of the repairman going to the church to insure the coffee maker is working for Sunday. It's a beautiful, clear, sunny day here and I am looking forward to a day mostly spent at home reading.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

I'm So Blessed

Sometimes Greg and I get into a cute little argument about who is more blessed. It goes something like, "I'm so blessed." "No, you're the best, I'm so blessed."

Today I feel blessed. I've had a difficult couple of weeks, but the family of God has come through. Last week I received an email from the proprietor of a bed and breakfast that Greg and I stayed at last year for our anniversary. I've been recommending people to them and they sent me an email saying they were giving Greg and I a free night's stay. It couldn't have come at a better time. I SO need to get away and clear my head. We're going in a few weeks and staying an extra night.

Today I had someone from our church come in my office and ask for a form. I asked if she and her husband signed up for a small group on Sunday. The conversation transitioned to her telling me how Greg led a leadership retreat with her previous church and how wonderful it was. She said he did a great job and how much fun it was. This was the encouragement Greg needed.

When I got home today, I found a wonderful card in my mailbox from a ministry leader at our church. She wanted to thank Greg for praying for the coffee machine on Sunday that was on the fritz (it started working right afterwards). The experience blessed her and she thanked Greg and I for all we do. This was the encouragement I needed.

I'm so thankful for those in our church who listen to God's prompting and answer the call to encourage. You may never know how you'll impact someone's day or week or month.

May God truly bless all three of these angels. My heart will not forget your kindness.

Correction

Yesterday Kristen had a conversation with the boy she asked to MORP. As it turns out, he was never asked by the other girl or has he given a response. They've talked about going together and he's waiting for her to ask him in a creative way.

Now Kristen feels rejected. She was coping with being late in the asking, but now she has been rejected, though she did everything right.

Sometimes no matter what our intentions, what good things we do for people, how much we sacrifice, or how hard we work, sometimes there is no reward, let alone appreciation. But, we're soldiers, not here for the glory of men, but here to take whatever hits the enemy may have for us and whatever God allows to refine us.

Praise God for his wisdom. He sees what is to come and prepares us for it. He allows us to see what we need of the future to give us wisdom to recognize our circumstances for what they are and to comfort us.

Remember that our battle is not against flesh and blood. It's comforting to know that He knows what's going on and that He's in control.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Heartbreak Hotel

Uuuuuggggghhhhh. Is there anything that breaks your heart more than when one of your kids is hurting through one of life's inevitable disappointments?

Kristen's school does MORP (Prom spelled backwards because the girl asks the boy). It's a school function where they go to dinner, a play, a football game or other event. They dress up according to a theme set by the Associated Student Body. There are traditions to MORP, you wait to ask someone until it has been announced. You ask in a creative way. The boy responds in a similarly creative way.

Kristen has had a heart tug for a boy from her school for 5 years. They've always been friends. There's kind of a kindred spirit between them. They enjoy each other's company. He's a very nice young man from a good family and he's a year younger than Kristen.

Kristen has been waiting for years for this moment, to ask him to MORP. Several weeks ago she got the courage to ask his parents at church if she could ask him to MORP. They said yes. She didn't have to do this, but wanted to make sure she did everything with excellence. It took a lot of courage to take ths step.

She waited for it to be announced, which was Friday. She still didn't know how she was going to ask him. Then, on Saturday, she decided. Saturday night our family left the house at 11 pm and went to the store to buy lots of plastic forks. Dressed all in black we drove to the next town where he lived and forked his lawn. Each of us had a letter. We spelled MORP? on their front lawn. We left an envelope on the front porch where she had designed and wrote an invitation to MORP. We left without a trace.

Sunday morning I saw his Dad. He accused us (rightly) of being at his house the night before. We confessed. Last night the phone rang. It was him. He called to tell Kristen that a girl had asked him on the way to class Friday after the rally if he would go to MORP with her and he said yes. He even said how cool it was that she forked his lawn and that he really wanted to go with her. Kristen graciously said, "That's okay."

Needless to say, Kristen was crushed. Tears flowed, begging us to talk to his parents commenced and the search for a loophole to this unfortunate turn of events ensued. Greg and I told her we couldn't talk to his parents about this because it was his decision. We had the opportunity to talk about the importance of not being bitter towards the girl. To only speak well of her. And we introduced her to something called spiritual warfare, as our battles are not against flesh and blood. It was time to fight. It was time to pray, and pray hard for God to change the circumstances. It's just like the enemy to wedge between two people in a relationship and try to mess things up. We prayed last night with her as we do every night, but this prayer was very different.

She asked for her Bible and asked what she should read. Greg told her Joshua. I checked on her a few minutes later to find her in the dark, laying backwards on her bed with a light shining brightly on God's word. She searched for anything that would help her.

This morning I asked her what she found last night. She said, "Be strong and courageous." She's armed this morning with grace and kindness, though her heart is still a little dented. Please stand in prayer with us. Whatever the outcome, this will be a good learning experience for her in praying through difficult circumstances and standing up for what she believes in.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

A New Book

Yesterday I started a new book. No, I haven't finished Just As I Am or Spiritual Leadership but they will be finished! I'm in a new season and am thirsty for other kinds of books. This one is called High Call High Privilege and it's written by Gail MacDonald. Gordon and Gail MacDonald are Pastors and writers. Mainly, they've pastored four churches and she's written numerous books. He's written some books as well. They're a very personable couple. Greg has actually met them. I ordered some booklets from them last year or earlier this year and she autographed each one.

This book is written to every woman in a place of ministry responsibility. I'm about 1/3 of the way through it and am on their second pastorate. I'm loving all the stories she tells about their experiences. We have another thing in common. Their kids are named Mark and Kristy. Close, huh?

Anyway, some of the jewels I got yesterday were the quotes she opens each chapter with, and I wanted to share them with you.

How you can think so well of us,
And be the God you are,
Is darkness to my intellect,
But sunshine to my heart. Frederick Faber, 1874

Have your heart right with Christ, and He will visit you often, and so turn weekdays into Sundays, meals into sacraments, homes into temples and earth into heaven. Charles Spurgeon

Untended fires soon die and become just a pile of ashes. 80 year-old retired Pastor.

Men are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. Anonymous

Am I prisoner of people's expectations or liberated by Divine promises? Henri Nouwen

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galations 1:10.

I can't wait to see all that this book holds for me. I can't recommend reading books enough. Sometimes they take you on an adventure, sometimes convict your heart, sometimes open your mind and lead you on to other adventures. They're always something you can learn and grow from. The brain is a muscle, use it or lose it.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Appointments

Yesterday I had another PT appointment. They worked me hard again. So hard, that when Kristen came over to stretch me out at the end, my shoulder would not move in some of the directions she wanted it to. She said it was hot and too inflamed to have me do my usual three stretches that day. She said only do it one more time, and lots of ice. So I did. It's improving, I'm not nearly as stuck when I get up in the morning.

Yesterday I also had my 6 month opthamology appointment. To my surprise they dilated me. Usually, they just numb my eyes, stick a pen in each of them, then a blunt blue light to check my pressures. But today was a little different. I had called them before my appointment to see if they were running on time or late. Many of my late afternoon experiences have found me in the waiting room for an hour, then in the examination room for 45 minutes. Greg was leaving for the retreat, so I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him before he left. I was told, "There's almost no one in the waiting room and hardly any folders down the hall. Come on down." So I did. Twenty minutes in the waiting room, then off to the exam room. To my surprise the assistant said, "These are gonna sting", as she squirted my eyes. She's never said that before and they've never stung before. Obviously they changed numbing drops! Yikes! Livable, but not enjoyable.

After checking my vision, I was kicked out of the exam room to sit in the hallway for 45 minutes. Yes, the hallway. As my eyes slowly blurred to the point where I could no longer read, I got to enjoy the comings and goings of doctors, assistants, patients, and . . . a friend! I got to say hi to Eric from church. He's the computer tech that supports the office. It's always nice to see a familiar face in an unexpected place!

It wasn't long that I was in the exam room before the doctor came in. He worried me a little, as he looked at the backs of my eyes with his bright mirror. He repeated one of the eyes, which is always disconcerting. Then he said, "I think you're going to be fine." I love those words. He didn't even check my pressures. I go back for a pressure check in 6 months and glaucoma pictures in 3 weeks, since it's been about a year since my last pictures.

I slept really well last night. A nice flat bed, no waking up from Greg getting up to go to the bathroom, it was fabulous. It was so nice to see gray skies and light rain outside. I ran to the church at 7:30 to open up for a writing seminar, came home and made breakfast for everyone, then went to the store. When I came home Kristen and I watched the first DVD of Oprah's 20th Anniversary series. I didn't stop crying the whole time! It was just too good. I'm so renting the other DVDs. Once I composed myself, I made lunch and started a batch of beef vegetable soup. I love that recipe, especially on rainy days. That, or chili beans. Yummm!!!! It's cooking and we'll have it for dinner and many meals to come. Tomorrow, roasted beasties. (What we call roast beef)

Still need to vacuum and dust, but I feel more like reading, so I'm off to the sofa. Maybe I'll make hot chocolate!?! Hmmmmm . . .

Friday, September 21, 2007

More PT

Tuesday I had my second Physical Therapy appt and boy did they work me! For over an hour they had me do an entire new list of exercises. The head PT did say I was going really far. I can move about 4 more inches in some of the exercises than a week ago. Yea! I get to go again this morning. I get very sore and my shoulder is very hot afterwards, but the ice feels so good.

Kristen has been sick for a few days. Cold/allergy/sleepy/yucky are all words to describe her ailment. I think she'll be better this weekend.

Mark has a very challenging piano teacher at school. He said he had to work for 10 minutes on one note and still couldn't hear the difference. He was given a new way of practicing and he's struggling with it. His regular teacher gave him no sympathy, simply, "Go with it, he knows what he's doing." Needless to say, Mark had a very bad day that day.

Greg is going on the men's retreat this weekend. I always dread his absence but try to focus on all the stuff I'll get accomplished while he's gone.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Update

Okay, I know it's been awhile and you've been very patient with me. I just have a little update on my little life.

Yes, Mark healed wonderfully, no swelling. Piece of cake.

Friday I had my first physical therapy appt. since the diagnosis. It was great. I had the lady I had before. She has the warmest, softest hands. She's so in the right job for her! Or at least for her hands! I'm happy to announce I've faithfully done all my exercises so far, 3 times a day since Friday morning. I can tell when I get more than 2-3 hours late from my exercise time. My shoulder gets sore and stiff. Nice reminder. I have more range of motion than I did Friday. Yeah!

Mark's 18th birthday was Sunday. We woke up to a forked lawn that said Happy B-Day! Loved it!!!! They also forked his car and wrote on the windows. All tastefully done. It was his friends, though they're not completely confessing yet. We had family down Sunday afternoon, which was nice, but too short. Maybe if I served lunch like my brother, they'd stay longer. Who knows.

Mark's friend's birthday party is today/tonight. Mark wanted to have dinner at a taco truck so we treated them to that. Times have sure changed from Discovery Zone and Pizza to Taco Truck and Metroid Prime 3 on the Wii.

That's about it. Spiritually, it's a time for lots of reading and journaling and praying. I finished the In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day and it was great, especially the last 2 chapters. I already have ideas for who to give that book to for Christmas, etc.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

The Fighter

Mark did well yesterday. He went under just fine, telling stories the whole time. It took about an hour. They let us know where to pick him up. We received our care instructions and waited. They said since he came out of the anesthesia, he had been talking non-stop, asking many questions about what happened. So true of him. He talked early and well and always seeks information. They had to wheel him out in a wheelchair. Looking at him, it was almost like he had been in an accident. His color was kind of yellow, he couldn't talk very well with the gauze in his mouth, and you could see the blood behind his lips. His eyes were sleepy and he was very unstable on his feet. On the way home, he kept writing notes to me to communicate. One said, "I'm a fighter." I just loved that. Considering how nervous he was about the IV, he exited the procedure triumphantly. Yeah!!!!

One socket bled more than the others. It was the impacted tooth site. He drank water, had some applesauce and mashed potatoes, and was good about applying his ice pack. He was a little sore, so we gave him the ibuprofen and pain killer to stay ahead of the pain.

His surgeon called last night around 8:30 just to see how he was doing. He said not to be alarmed if there were brown clots coming out of his mouth in the morning. He said he did well and they had to drill quite a bit to get the impacted tooth out.
This morning, he's not swollen, just a little sore at the extraction sites. He's not hungry yet, which amazes me since he hasn't eaten much in the last 24 hours, but he is craving milk. No clots came out, just a little blood.

The fighter has fought the good fight.

Friday, September 7, 2007

A Day of Apprehension

All morning I've felt uneasy. Queezy. Nervous. Some of it might be physiological, as Greg hasn't been feeling well this week. Maybe it's sympathy sickness. I think the biggest part is the tie I have to Mark, as he prepares to have all his wisdom teeth pulled this afternoon, some of which are impacted.

He doesn't like needles and medical visits any more than I do, but needles have caused him to pass out and have seizures the last two times. He seems more concerned with the pain after the extractions than the IV. I'm more concerned how he'll handle the IV. It will be a nerve wracking hour as we wait in the waiting room for him. Prayers are appreciated.

I've been praying for him for the last few weeks as we have known of this appointment. I've tried to not show too much of my motherly concern, but my heart aches for what he has to go through today. All I've been able to do when I think about it is sigh and say my poor baby. I'm realizing that it's true, now matter how old your kids get, there is an unmistaken tie that doesn't break. You can't disengage from it. You can't say, that's them, it's not happening to me, because for some reason, part of it is happening to me.

If this is how we mere mortals feel about our kids, can you imagine how our Father must feel when we go through tough times? I'm thankful he is always with us, always knowing every detail, every thought, feeling and fear. Lord, help me cast these cares on you today, as they're just too heavy for me to carry.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Workin' For It

I spent a few minutes reading today and came across several nuggets of wisdom. The first was when the author talked about his calling. He wrote, "And in retrospect, I'm grateful that it was as long and as hard as it was to discover my calling, because easy answers produce shallow convictions." This reminds me of a conversation I had with our son the other day. We were running errands together and he told me one of his friends just got a new, expensive car as a gift from their parents. I told him I was glad he got to pay for his, as well as recent repairs, because it made him appreciate it and value the work that went into getting it. The same is true of anything we work for. The value is so much deeper than things that are just handed to us in most cases.

Another nugget I discovered is this. "In a sense, sin is short-changing ourselves and short-changing God. It is settling for anything less than God's best. Faith is the exact opposite. Faith is renouncing lesser goods for something greater. And it always involves a calculated risk." This reminds me of my 13 year wait for my amazing husband. I had coined a phrase in my late teens or early 20's that anything worth having was worth waiting for. Funny how that simple phrase had a part in sustaining a pure singleness for all those years. I think of women who are desperate to find a husband for themselves and a father for their children. They settle for less than God's best, thinking they have to beat the clock, because waiting on God will take too long. But oh, the rewards for waiting on God! So worth it.

Another nugget was "If you were to always act in your greatest self-interest, you would always obey God. that is what I mean by a win/win relationship." Isn't that such a true statement? God is so faithful and so loving of His creation. He only wants what is ultimately best for us. Sure, we may have to go through a little fire, but there will always be blessings on the other side. We will be stronger and our character will be made more like His. We will always come out ahead if we obey.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Milestones

Today was a big day for both of our kids. The kind of day you look forward to with anticipation. The kind of day where you hold your breath in the morning and don't breathe until everyone is home and sharing every detail until you can say, "I'm so proud of you."

Kristen started playing the drums last October. Within weeks she was playing in the youth worship band. Her first drum teacher, on more than one occasion, threw his drum sticks in the air and called her disgusting. Before long she moved onto another teacher. In confidence we asked him what he thought of her talent. Did she have a shot at her dream of touring with a Christian rock band some day? "Absolutely, if she makes the right contacts." In May, just before school was out, she auditioned for the Praise & Worship band at school for the 2007-2008 school year. The band director took her through at least 30 minutes of different songs. She stayed right up with him, changing her beat and the parts of the drums that she used, each song different. He was convinced she was good enough to be in the band. So today, during Chapel at school, she got to perform for the first time. She was nervous but knew this is what she had waited for. Jake said she did well. She though she did well, didn't mess up once! Two teachers and many students told her how well she did. Whew, it was over. I asked her if she was going to be nervous next week. She said no. Yeah!

Today was Mark's first day of college. I can't believe I'm even writing this. Just yesterday he was in his cradle, with that baby smell after his bath, sleeping soundly. Today he drove to college, went to all his classes, picked up a few supplies he still needed, then went to work. Now he's home, doing his Chemistry homework. Each problem has to be on it's own separate index card. You can't hand them in at the beginning of class. You have to meet with the teacher during her office time and spend 15 minutes with her as she looks over your work. Yikes! College sure has changed. And so have the prices! Books for one music class were $165. He has 9 classes! You do the math! We found out that he needs a tux for 5 performances this semester alone. Do we rent? Do we buy? We'll have to figure that one out. I hadn't considered saving for tuxes all those years but hopefully the college funds will pay for wardrobe too.

One more milestone to report. Yesterday Mark got his first 'gig'. He has been asked to play for a wedding in October. How cool is that? I'm going to make business cards for him, because you never know who might want him once they hear him play. It would be a great way to supplement his income.

I told him this morning before I left for work, "Good luck on the first day of the next 4-5 years of your life." He said, "Uggghhhh".

Monday, September 3, 2007

A Full Sunday

Yesterday was a good day. Full, but good. Church was wonderful as usual. I had the opportunity to meet with a fairly new believer who wanted to volunteer. I just love getting to know people who feel it is time to serve. She has a wonderful heart. As I asked questions, I was drawn in. This is someone I would love to get to know more. To know where she would best serve, I encouraged her to take the Spiritual Gifts Inventory on our website, as well as our Spiritual Pathway Assessment. I have her our Discovering Your Ministry booklet for her to go through, as we won't be having our class in September. There are many places for her to serve and I can't wait to see how God has designed her for ministry. She also asked if there was someone who could help her grow. I seem to be getting a lot of these requests lately, as well as some from people who want to help others grow. The fruit is starting to ripen for harvest.

After church, Greg and I went to a couple's home, who we met during our first Dinners For Eight at our house. They live in Hickman. We were able to talk for some time as she prepared a wonderful meal. We met three of their children who were in their teens and early 20's. After lunch, we were given a tour of their home, their 4 acres of land, goats, horses, dogs, and cats. We even got to go to their daughters' home and see the beautiful quilting she does. After the tour, we came back and had pie. We got some time alone and encouraged them in an area that we knew they were struggling in. They were open and appreciative and we prayed together. It was a wonderful afternoon.

After dinner, it was finally cool enough to venture outside for a walk. Greg and I love to walk, holding hands and talking.

When Mark got home Greg and I spent quite a while talking with him. It was a very emotional talk for me. I didn't even think I could pray without bawling, but I made it through with God's strength.

This morning Greg ran with me. I had mentioned to him last night how we should try and run into our neighbors who we helped with their marriage. Low and behold, as we were running our normal mile around our neighborhood at 7 am, she pulled into her driveway. As we started talking he pulled up pulling their boat. They were off to the lake for the day. We were able to catch up on how they were doing as well as their kids. All is well and even better than before. God is so good, and so faithful.

Today, I get to work on my dig! Can't wait!

Sunday, September 2, 2007

An Ambitious Saturday

I got up yesterday with just a few things on my mind I needed to do. Housework and take the cat to the vet. The housework went fine, vacuuming, dusting, dishes, floors, bathroom. All done by lunch. The vet appointment wasn't until 2:50, so I had to decide what to do until then.

I decided on making a 4-batch of chocolate chip cookies. I hadn't made cookies in quite a while, so I started getting everything out and found out I needed 8 sticks of butter, and only had 2. I was also short on a few other things, so off to the store I went. As I got to adding the last bit of flour into the biggest bowl I had, my shoulder wouldn't let me continue stirring, and my left arm wasn't strong enough either. "Greg!" Muscular husbands are so wonderful. He saved the day and the cookies were being massed produced. Towards the end I decided to freeze the last bit of dough and clean up the kitchen. I have some time left, what shall I do?

Then it hit me. It was time for another dig. I grabbed my Bibles, my binder from the IBS (Inductive Bible Study) class, and my notebook. It took me about 10 minutes to get my bearings from where I had left off a few weeks ago. Ah yes, 1 Peter. I had done my observation marking for all 5 chapters at once. Now it was time to re familiarize myself with the scripture. I read the introduction in my Bible to get the context of where and why it was written. I read the text. A word stopped me. Deceitful. Hmmmm. The verse read 'For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech." Hmmmm. I went to my electronic Bible program to look up the word. Waiting for it to load, I looked at the clock and it was 2:30. Time to go!

I put the collar and leash on the cat (they like leashes on things at the vet, though my cat becomes a rock when she's scared and doesn't move an inch, even when threatened by a big dog). Sputters has been losing weight. She was 11 pounds about 6 months ago, then 10 lbs. in May, now 8 lbs. You can feel her spine when you pet her. She acts fine, except for the weekly projectile vomiting that we've tried to control with vet appointments and medicines, like kitty Pepto. They shaved a patch from the front of her neck and drew blood. She had been borderline diabetic so with the additional weight loss, I thought it better to retest her. She's still borderline diabetic. Her kidney test was perfect. Everything tested for said she was in fine shape. The vet even said she looked 6 years old, not 12.

She could have hyperthyroidism, and if treated at her age, could cause kidney failure. Most likely it's old age. Cats lose weight to a point, about 30%, which she's done, then stop. I'll weigh her again in about 3 weeks and if her weight is the same, we'll assume it's old age. If she's still losing, we can continue to test at about $70 per test, yikes! to find out what's wrong. I think what's wrong is that she vomits. But the vet said she would do that.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Submission to Authority

If there has been a common thread throughout my week, it has been submission to authority. I've witnessed a variety of situations and seen the result of submitting and not submitting to authority.

In one instance a decision was made not to submit. Their spirit knew the right thing to do was to submit, but their flesh wanted to do it another way. A conflict resulted, causing turmoil in their soul. This kind of spiritual conflict is a clear indication that something is very wrong. As a result, God worked everything out for the good of the body and the person has been released from the turmoil.

In another occasion, the person initially resisted submission. During this time, they were in turmoil as well. This person was angry at the situation and lashed out at the very person who was trying to help them and had their best interest at heart in the long run. When they knew they had no choice, they submitted, and God carried them through the situation just fine.

On two other occasions, these people decided to submit right from the start. They were open, transparent, verbally willing to do whatever was needed and wanted by the authorities above them. Everything went smoothly from the start.

Whenever God shows me something multiple times, I take notice. I ask myself if this is for me, or a teaching opportunity for others I need to pass on. I haven't figured out which one this is yet. I'm kind of chewing on it as I write.

I know from experience the consequences from submitting to authority and not. In my first marriage, I liked to argue my point until I won. For me, it was an exercise, a debate, a war of the minds, almost a game. This behavior, rightly so, didn't sit well with my husband. It undermined him in the very role of leadership God had designed for marriage. As a result, this was one ingredient in the demise of the marriage.

In my second marriage, I've done a 180. I submit. I know my place. I know I'm a helpmate and a complement to my husband and I'm happy to be just that. It doesn't mean that I cower or don't share my opinion. It means that once my husband has considered my opinion and all the options, I support his decision. It creates harmony in the home. Our home is at peace because we operate as we should in our marriage relationship. Ephesians 5:22-24 "Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

In regard to other areas of our lives, our work, our ministry, the government, etc., Romans 13:1-7 tells us "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor."

So, who are the authorities that are over you? In a check of myself, I'm going to write each one down, and ask God to shine a bright light on any that I am not submitting to, so I can correct the situation.

Shoulder Update

Monday my friend Terry from church, who has the gift of healing and intercession, asked if she could pray for me about anything. I explained my shoulder situation and her hands started getting hot. She knew she had to lay her hands on my shoulder and pray for me, so she did. Her hands were indeed hot, and it felt so good. In fact, it was warm and comfortable for a long time afterwards. Since she prayed for me, I haven't had any pain in my shoulder and have actually gained 6 inches in my stretching this week. It feels comfortable. In fact, I've been able to easily pull shirts on and off without difficulty the last few days. I'm confident God is in the process of healing my shoulder. Everyday is better.

I saw the orthopedic specialist today. My radiologists diagnosis from my MRI said it was impingement (pinching) of the rotator cuff, which causes tendinitis. This is a general 'catch all' diagnosis when nothing else stands out. After looking at my x-rays and MRI and doing a brief exam, the specialist is confident I have frozen shoulder syndrome. There are three phases of this condition:
1. Mostly constant pain and lack of movement.
2. No pain with lack of movement.
3. No pain with normal movement.

I'm definitely in stage 2 when I don't over do my arm with a lot of vacuuming, scrubbing, reaching, etc. There are three options for treating this condition.
1. Do nothing. The shoulder will correct itself within 3 years.
2. Do Physical Therapy. People who do this are usually stoic because they will work the arm by stretching and strengthening the muscles, which can cause pain, but it is quicker than a 3 year fix.
3. Go under general anesthesia and have the shoulder forced into position. This is for people who are tired of the pain and lack of full use and just want it fixed now.

I'm opting for option #2, Physical Therapy. I know I've lost muscle mass since I've been injured so I think building up my arm is a good idea. I think God has or is repairing any damage that I've done by moving my arm in quick movements. So, that's the plan. I'll keep you posted as time goes on.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Divine Appointments

I'm happy to have something to blog about. I've been feeling guilty for not blogging daily. Not that there are any rules for blogging, but I feel is is a responsibility that if people are going to take the time to check for new information in a blog, it should be there on some sort of consistent basis. I'll try to do better.

The Harvest Crusade exceeded my expectations to say the least. I was amazed at the number of people in the amphitheater and those outside who couldn't get in. 50,000 in three days! I had no idea that many people could get in the grassy bowl I graduated in some 20+ years ago.

There were a couple of stories I'd like to share with you. One I heard of yesterday. We have an ex-49er football player at our church and he was working as a follow-up counselor. God paired him up with a handful of boys, around the age of 10, who had just given their lives to Christ. As they talked, it was revealed they all played football. Can you imagine a real life pro football player counseling you after you accepted Christ? They must have felt like they died and went to heaven. (Figuratively speaking of course!)

Another divine appointment was when my husband and I were joined by a salesman and the man he invited. The salesman had prayed about who to invite. He had over 6700 customers and this man's time kept coming to mind. He invited him and he said yes. Greg talked to him quite a bit before the concert started and learned a lot about his situation. He lost his wife a year ago, his children were in a variety of living situations, he was on disability but wanted to find work as a janitor. He said he had fallen away from church after some private confessions he shared with his church leadership were used against him. He never trusted clergy again. He was fairly stoic during the concert, but when Greg Laurie started to speak, he leaned intently forward, hanging on every word. We prayed for him silently during the message. When the invitation started, he was starting to sob. He went forward and re-dedicated his life to Christ. Greg prayed with him afterwards.

The coolest part for me was the personal stories of this man and seeing the result of an open heart. It was hearing that boys got counseled by a football star. It was hearing Greg Laurie talk about Travis Starn's life and heart in front of 17,000 people. The crusade made me realize that the neatest things in life are getting connected to people and learning their stories. Exchanging wisdom, helping people get to the next step or level in their walk, watching God do amazing things in their lives. It's not always easy, it's not always clean and tidy, it doesn't always leave you with more energy than when you started. Sometimes it leaves you in tears, exhausted, confused, or hurt. But it's worth it. God designed us to get involved in people's lives, to give a leg up, to help wherever and whenever we can. As I saw Greg ask that gentleman a host of questions, sometimes I wondered 'how can you be so nosy?' But the question should have been, 'how can I care too?'.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Acts 2

I've heard my Pastor, an elder, and our Associate Pastor talk about what they've read in Acts Chapter 2. So, being one who is easily influenced by what others are reading, that's what I chose to read this morning. The verses that struck me were verses 46-47. "They worshipped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord's Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved."

As I read that, my eyes kept going back to "They worshipped together at the Temple each day". I've been thinking for the last 3 months about how great it would be to have a revival at our church for a week or two each summer. Nights of worship, prayer, and a message. The worship and prayer would be the majority of the evening and there would be an opportunity to accept Christ each night. Different Pastors from our community would take turns speaking. How rich would that be?

We got a taste of it with the Harvest Prayer & Worship night a few weeks ago. It was too short. I wanted it to go on for much longer.

This is a time to humble ourselves before God, faithfully submitting our hearts to his desires. Casting away all our fears, insecurities, and selfishness. Stripping away the things that hinder us from wholehearted worship of the God that saved us from an eternal hell. We don't even have to wait for a church sponsored evening of prayer and worship. We can do it in our small groups, with our families, even alone. How will you worship your God today?

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Reading Update

I started a new book this week. It's called In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day. Don't you just love that title? I'm about 60+ pages into it and so far it's about courage, facing fears, and praying for the right things. What I liked about today's reading is how the author talked about our prayers so often ask for protection or for pain to be taken away. If our lives had no pain and no crisis, how could we grow? It's through those trying times that we learn to lean on God the most and learn to trust him, no matter what life throws our way. We should be praying that God would bring us the opportunities that we need in order to grow. Is that brave or what? Kind of like, Bring the Rain, huh? We have to change our mindset, or in corporate terms, have a paradigm shift. That's what we should be praying for each day.

I've also been reading Billy Graham's book. He has graduated from college, gotten married, had his first child, and is quickly building Youth for Christ in Europe. Talk about a boundless enthusiasm. This guy never ran out of energy. Maybe when he had the Mumps for two months. It's a fascinating book of a man with incredible faith.

So, what are you reading? Feel free to leave a comment. I usually read books that people suggest to me. Your brain is a muscle, exercise it! Also, did you know that whenever you learn something new, you put another wrinkle in your brain? I want a very wrinkled brain when I die. How about you?

Monday, August 20, 2007

School Bells Ring

It was inevitable. I've watched friends and co-workers get their kids ready to start another year of school, and today, the day has hit our family. My sophomore has been in a state of apprehension for several weeks, but I'm happy to say this morning she woke up with a great attitude and an air of self-confidence. Yeah!

This doesn't just affect her, my schedule moves up 30-45 minutes as well. This morning was the first morning I've run in the dark since last winter. It was a little eery, but it was quiet and cool. The sun started to come up just as we finished our last lap.

It is a little empty this morning, though, because for the first time in 11 years, I only have one child getting ready for school. Mark starts Stanislaus the first week of September. He's sleeping now, giving Kristen full freedom in the bathroom and kitchen to get ready. It makes for a quiet morning. But this will change in a few weeks, though he goes a little later in the morning.

I will surely be praying for my little one throughout the day. I wonder how my life would have been different if I had praying parents when I went to school and faced all they challenges of growing up. I'm glad my kids are covered. I trust you are praying for your kids daily too.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

And the Saga Continues . . .

I had my post MRI appointment yesterday. Other than tendonitis, it might be something called frozen shoulder phenomenon. It's a phenomenon because the medical community doesn't fully understand it. It's when the fibers in the membrane surrounding the joint freeze up, tighten up and pull back, scarring. With physical therapy, this phenomenon goes away in most cases in a year. All of a sudden, you have full range of motion again. With either diagnosis, I will be having physical therapy to stretch my shoulder. I'm being referred to an orthopedic shoulder specialist to determine which diagnosis is true, so the exercises can be customized to my problem. If it is frozen shoulder and it doesn't unfreeze in a year, they will put me under general anesthesia and force my shoulder to have mobility. I'll keep you posted!

A few anniversaries I'd like to share with you. On August 16th, (Thursday) I enjoyed my 20th anniversary of attending New Life Christian Center. Yesterday, (Friday) Greg and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary of when we became engaged. We had dinner at Black Angus after my doctor's appointment, went to the mall and shopped for a nice purity ring for our daughter, grabbed a Slurpee at 7-11 and went to Donolly park where we sat at a picnic table, enjoyed the stars and the lake, and pretty much talked about ministry for almost 2 hours. We got home around 10:30, tired, full, and content.

Blessings to all.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Discovering the Will of God Part II

As I continue watching the DVD by Andy Stanley, I'm intrigued at the insight that he is pouring out. Last night he talked about seeking wise counsel. Sometimes we have tunnel vision regarding how God will and should speak to us. We assume the position that he speaks primarily to our hearts or through a verse in the Bible. We're often discouraged when this doesn't happen, thinking that we haven't 'caught' it.

Andy said that the primary way that God speaks to him is through other people in the body of Christ that he has known to be wise and mature, in a place in their life where he wants to be. He has a small group and they are made up of parents of young children. Their studies primarily consist of raising Godly children and being good parents. At the end of their studies they invite a couple whose children are grown, who have done a great job with their kids. Straight A students who love and serve God and who are in college leading pure lives. They spend the next 2 hours just asking questions of this couple, seeking their wisdom.

He made the point that you don't have to call someone up you want advise from and say, "Now, I'm expecting God to speak through you to me on this matter, so I want you to know I'll be listening intently to what you have to say." It's rather in the casual conversations with wise and spiritually mature people that they just know when God has spoken to them.

I told Greg about this session when I came home last night. He confirmed that I experienced that myself when we were starting to see each other. (Today is our 3rd anniversary of our engagement!) I wasn't sure he was the one God had chosen for me and I had a casual conversation with his roommate on the phone while Greg was in Belize on a missions trip. I had alot of assets and Greg had practically none. I saw this as a sign that we didn't have the same financial planning goals. His roommate told me that God does that. He takes two individuals and brings them together to make one whole person. Where one lacks, they other provides, and vice versa. The light bulb went off. Together we won't be lacking anything. He brings things I didn't have, and I brought things he didn't have. We're both so much richer because of it. I turned a corner in our relationship that night and we were off and running, and we've been joyfully running ever since.

When have you had a conversation with someone and they answer you've been seeking God for showed up in their words? It's a very cool thing when it happens. Broaden your expectations of how God speaks to you. He is not limited to speaking to your heart or through the Bible. He speaks through people, circumstances, and all kinds of ways I'm sure I'm not even aware of. Look for God in the small things and the big things. He's everywhere!